Even tho the only respondent to my question is the fruit of my loins, and I know she is a vegan and will only make this with bean or some weird tofu burrito, I'm posting it anyway because she is RIGHT. Eric's Favorite Burrito Salad was probably born of a wicked good deal at the Reser's Thrift Shop on those 8 packs of frozen mexican meat bombs and a head of lettuce starting to turn brown around the edges, but necessity is the mother of invention. And luckily for me, she was hotter than _______(star of your choice) that night! Simple, almost lazy, but quite delicious - we used to have it a lot, but then I stopped buying them in favor of making them from scratch and forgot about this delightful use of what is (yes, I sadly know this for a fact) the most popular deli case item in Plaid Pantry's existence. So pretend it's healthy because it has lettuce, and remember that the ones with beans will grace your personal space with a musical interlude of indeterminate proportions 4 to 6 hours later...
Eric's Favorite Burrito Salad
1 head iceberg lettuce, cut in quarters and shredded coarsely (romaine or a mix works too)
Shredded cheddar or mexican blend cheese
6 or so Reser's burritos, your choice (we like beef and bean or red hot)
1 or 2 tomatoes, chopped
Thaw burritos if frozen, I put them in the microwave for about a minute, turning once halfway through. Put a little oil in a large skillet and heat to medium - hot but not smoking, they will burn really fast. Cook burritos in oil, turning now and then until golden brown all over; remove from pan and drain on plate w/paper towels. While cooling, put lettuce on 3 or 4 plates, shredded cheese on that, then using a big knife on a cutting board, cut burrito's lenthwise down the middle, turn cut sides up so the filling doesn't goosh out so bad, then cut crosswise into squares (I use 1.5 burritos per plate, 2 for the big boys). Try not to burn the crap out of your fingers with the filling...but if you do, the best treatment is to stick them in your mouth. Top with chopped tomato if you like, then a dollop of sour cream and however much salsa you like. Thank you Reser's for your lovely processed food - I'm sure that that Santa Ana is rolling over in his grave, but sometime a working girl does what she's gotta do. Adios, mi amigos!