Monday, September 2, 2013

Be Careful What You Ask For...

Now here's a novel 'bout I give you a bunch of recipes recently requested with out all the blathering that usually comes with just one?  Done.  But just so you know, I can tell which posts get the most hits, so if it's this one I will be devastated and probably fall into a deep depression, never cooking anything again that doesn't come in a waxy box that contains the words "peel back the foil from the brownie".  Then you'll be sorry....

Dilly Beans

Marie, this one is for you...actually for Matthew.  We love dilly beans, and I have to hide them because the kids will come up with vodka and spicy bloody mary mix and just pour it straight into a quart jar of them that they drained the brine out of.  They are a little crunchy, nice and dilly, and the more red peppers you put in, the less of the spicy bloody mary mix you need....super simple to make too!

This recipe is for 5 quarts because I threw away my canner and have to use a stock pot to can in....only 5 jars will fit and I have to put extra rings on the bottom for a rack.  Anyone have an old canner they want to get rid of?

5 lbs fresh green beans, washed and stem end snapped off (we like the pointy end)
5-10 cloves of garlic, peeled
5-10 dried red chili peppers (or more...)
5-10 heads dill
5 C. vinegar
5 C. water
1/4 C. salt

Bring your canner or large stock pot a bit more than half full of water to a boil while you prep the jars.  Bring the vinegar, water and salt to a boil in another pan, keep simmering.  In each sterile wide mouth quart jar, put one or two each garlic cloves, peppers and dill heads, then fill with beans, pointy end down.  Pack em in, turn the jar sideways and find holes to push more in until it's nice and tight.  Stand up the jar, and use scissors (I have itty bitty ones) to snip off anything that extends past the jar collar.  Trust's the fastest way.  Fill all 5 jars, then carefully pour the boiling vinegar mixture to fill each one 1/2" from the top.  Run a knife down the insides of the jar to release air bubbles (I didn't do this because I forgot, and only blew the bottom off one jar...whatev), then wipe the top edge with a clean cloth, then put your sterile lid and ring on each jar, tightening the ring firmly.  Handsome Stranger said the one lid that got crinkled was because I made the ring too tight...I put him in a headlock and he said he was just kidding, it was probly just a defective lid.  Put jars carefully into the canner of boiling water, add more if they don't have at least an inch over the top of them, then put the lid on and bring to a boil.  Process for 10 minutes at a full boil, then remove from canner and let cool.  Any lid that doesn't seal gets stored in the fridge unless you like to froth at the mouth.

Here's one for several people who asked after seeing a pic on facebook....I posted the recipe there too, but I have trouble finding recipes people post there, it's like writing one down on the back of an envelope, then trying to find it when you don't a. file paperwork more than once a year, and b. like to mix your recipes in with your paperwork.  This way you can say "Man, I wish I had some of those bitchin brownies", which will remind you of bitchinvittles, and voila!

I made these after someone posted the recipe, then posted my own pix and promptly got two requests.  I bet at least 3 people have lick marks on their computer or smart phone....

Mortal Sins (Peanut butter brownies)

Because once you have one under your belt, there's nowhere to go but down....

1 box brownie mix...or make your own, I do not care
1/2 C. butter
1 C. peanut butter
2 C. powdered sugar
1 C. chocolate chips
1 T. butter

Bake the brownies according to directions in a 9x13 pan, let cool completely.  Beat butter, peanut butter and powdered sugar until fluffy...try not to eat half of it before you spread it on the brownies evenly.  Refrigerate one hour, then melt the butter, stir in the chocolate chips, and microwave one minute (or 30 seconds at a time), then stir until melted and smooth.  Spread carefully over peanutbutter frosting and put in fridge for another hour to set.  Cut into squares and be will not be able to stop at one.  No one has so far....OMG these are too easy to be this damn good!  Only thing I thought might improve them is to double the peanutbutter filling....but then you could also skip the bottom and top and just make a bowl of the frosting and be done with it.  But we live in a civilized world, so if you do don't tell anyone.

And last but not least - made these after someone posted THIS recipe on fb, and brought them to work.  Request, request, request...

Sticky Pecan Baby Buns

Hahaha...I made that name up and it makes me laugh even though I'm sure it will disgust some of you, but probably only the ones who didn't get to eat one.  I made them in muffin tins and ended up with a lot of leftover cake batter, but you could also make this in two round cake pans to make things easy on yourself when you tip them out of the pan...did I say tip?  I meant scrape, cajole, attention to the end unless you want to curse like I did.

2/3 C. packed brown sugar
1/2 C. butter
1/3 C. honey
1.5 C. pecans, coarsley chopped

2.5 C. flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
3 eggs
2 C. sugar
1 C. vegetable oil
1 C. sour cream
2 tsp. vanilla

Preheat oven to 350.  Grease 24 muffin tins with crisco...don't skimp.  In medium saucepan, heat brown sugar, butter and honey, stirring until melted and smooth, about 2 minutes.  Stir in pecans and set aside.  In medium bowl, stir flour, baking powder and soda, salt and set aside.

In large bowl beat eggs and sugar about 3 minutes until thick and lemon colored.  Add oil, sour cream and vanilla, beat until combined.  Gradually add dry ingredients and beat until combined, scraping bowl.

Put 1 heaping T. of pecan mixture in bottom of each muffin tin, spreading it out a bit with the back of the spoon.  Put about 1/4 C. of the cake mix on top of the pecans, then bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.  Cool on rack for FIVE MINUTES ONLY, loosening sides of cakes while it cools, using a sharp knife if need be.  Put rack on TOP of cakes upside down, then holding both together, flip pan over and smack the rack/pan on the counter once or twice for good measure.  Lift off the muffin tin and hopefully all the cakes fell out....if not loosen any "klingons" and then scrape out any excess pecan and put back on the cake it came off of.  You may want to stagger baking the two pans so you don't let one sit too long like I did...saves on confession for saying very bad words.  Let cool a bit, because that topping is about the same temp as what comes out of an old school glue gun...and your lips will look funny with bandaids covering the missing skin.

These are wicked good warm, kind of remind me of the flavor of baklava without the excessive sweetness...and you can smell the butter a mile away.  The cake is amazingly soft, rich and delicious...use the rest to make some cupcakes and you will not be unhappy you had extra.  And if you don't want to mess with cupcake tins, use two round cake pans, increase the cooking time 5-10 minutes, and just cut them into wedges when they cool...all comes out the same, right?

There you muss, no fuss and no warm and engaging stories with a positive and uplifing moral that will just get in the way of you making these delightful recipes and committing the sin of gluttony.  I hope you enjoy yourself.  Hmpf.