Passport to Pudge

WHERE IS MY FORK...

I love how foods have traveled around the world, and wormed its way into places where you would never imagine it could get a foothold.  Sure you can expect to find a veritable UN of cuisines in the big city, but when you come across a thriving Greek restaurant in a Podunk little community that doesn’t even have a moving picture screen, THAT impresses me.  Blue House in Vernonia, OR would rank right up there…..a lovely Greek family that shares its love of their heritage in a town probably most notable for having a swimmin’ hole in the middle of downtown.

Mexican food is a fave – its just so earthy and unpretentious, and the flavors from a handful of ingredients can blow your mind….makes me wonder who figure out dried chili peppers were even edible.  I’ve learned to love peppers, which for many, MANY years I would not touch with a 10 foot pole if they were cooked.  Handsome Stranger is not quite as evolved, but he has been known to eat them recently, and without shouts of “NO FAIR!!” and lengthy bouts of pouting.  I still have so much to learn about what all the countries regions have to offer, but because Google will take me places I have never been, it is my tour guide to the treasures our southern neighbors have to offer.

I go through cycles,  and will master/mess with one dish, then move on to another – tamales?  Check. (what a pain in the arse…I know why even Mexicans only make this a couple times a year at most)  Carnitas?  Check.  (If you do it right it should come with a stent….fatty pork DEEP FRIED??)  Pork Verde?  Check.  I’m throwing that in too, because it’s what I use to top the following wonder….

SOPITOS

These are a lovely little item that I first had at my favorite (long gone) Mexican establishment….one of the many things I have to live without since I have never found their equal.  Think of the base as a corn tortilla on steroids, but with a tender side….you'll have to trust me.  Toppings can be as varied as your tastes, I just like nice tender meat in a piquant sauce, so you can go wild with that.  As always….eat what you like, not what someone says you should….well, except this, THIS you should eat!

Sopes (the base of Sopitos)

1 C. masa harina (look in Mexican aisle….4# bag I think is the smallest container)

¾ C. warm water

¼ C. vegetable oil (I use light olive oil in everything)

½ tsp. salt (it’s just dough, no raw eggs, so taste it for salt…I LOVE it raw!)

Put masa in bowl, make a well and mix in water and oil with your hands until it forms a moist dough.  It should be soft, and not too sticky….if it’s too dry, it will be hard to form the discs without them cracking.  More water if dry, more masa if too wet….easy peasy.  Divide dough into 4 equal pieces  and roll each into a ball, then put under a towel or in a plastic bag to keep them from drying out.  Roll out each ball with rolling pin or wine bottle (see me for an empty one…) to about ¼” thick - I do them thicker, build up the edge a bit, then put them in a hot oil bath, but I am not right in the head, but this is Aaron Sanchez’s recipe and he’s the MAN.  I have put the ball on the bottom of a plate, then pressed with the bottom of a same size plate to good success as well:

Pinch ridge along edge

Form into ball....

Flatten with bottom of plate...

Heat a skillet over medium to medium high heat, brush with a little oil or use pan spray and carefully put sope in.  Cook until little brown blisters appear on the bottom, about 45 seconds (a bit longer if the heat is lower, same for the other side).  Flip carefully and cool other side another 30-45 seconds, flip one more time, count to 10, and transfer to a towel or parchment lined cookie sheet.  Keep warm in 300 degree oven.   Now for toppings:

Pork verde

If you are lazy or don’t eat pork (you live a sad existence, my friend), rotisserie chicken meat warmed with a little green salsa makes a quick and light substitution)

1 lb. pork butt or pork steaks, remove large chunks of fat and cube 1”

1 T. oil

1-3 jalepenos or serrano peppers, chopped (seed and devein?  Your choice….how hot you like it?)

1-2 cloves garlic, chopped

4-6 tomatillos, husk removed, cored and coarsely chopped

½ onion, chopped

Salt, pepper, and cumin to taste

Heat skillet or large saucepan over medium high, add oil and bring to smoking point, then add pork that you have sprinkled with a little salt and pepper.  Let  sit for a minute or two so it can get nice and brown, then stir a bit and let sit while it comes back up to temp.  Continue to stir and brown most sides of the meat, then add garlic, onion and peppers, cook and stir a couple more minutes, then add tomatillos, salt, pepper and cumin to taste.  Tomatillos have a lot of water, so you shouldn’t need to add any, but keep an eye on it as it simmer and add a little if it threatens to stick.  Bring to boil, cover and simmer for about an hour or until pork is fork tender and try not to burn the skin off your tongue trying it.  It should be enrobed in a beautiful tart/spicy/savory sauce, not runny…if it is, just cook a bit longer with no lid.

Sopitos Assembly:

Sopes
Refried beans, warmed (optional, but REALLY FILLING and adds a creamy element)
Pork verde

Queso fresco, crumbled, or Mexican blend cheese

Thinly shaved lettuce

Diced tomato

Sour cream

To assemble Sopitos, put your warm sopes on a platter, then top each with a smear of beans, a healthy scoop of pork verde, then top with crumbled queso or Mexican cheese, shaved lettuce, and diced tomatoes, then a dollop of sour cream and a little sprig of cilantro if you wanna get all fancy.  I think you could make twice as many with this verde recipe, or just eat half of it while you’re assembling and pretend you eat like a supermodel at dinner and save your portion for lunch the next day.  

Enjoy, and all I ask is that you not burst my bubble and tell me that some dude in a greasy spoon in the Midwest originally invented this with a corn muffin mix and a can of Dinty Moore beef stew….it would break my fat little Corazon. (I forget how to make that little doohickey above the o….my apologies to my Mexican friends)

Eating Happiness

Holy smokes, Batman….I fail at blogging!!  Sorry for the loooong hiatus, but my computer was invaded by a sticky fingered, dirty dish cluttering, homework littering, game installing, dirty sock leaving 13 year old – I think it’s time for his parents to get him his own computer so he can pollute it in 3.5 seconds flat and then go outside and play with sticks and the dogs.  I think we have all the bugs cleaned off (figuratively and literally), but it appears I have not much space left on ye olde hard drives so hopefully this won’t put it over the edge and take me back to a blue screen.

Part of my issue is writing block and memory (or lack therof)….having a hard time thinking of new things, and remember what I’ve already posted, and I don’t want to be that old lady that constantly repeats herself.  Part of my issue is writing block and mem….HAHAHA, sucker!  Sorry, still a bit of a dufus, and that will NEVER change.  So how bout we just cut to the chase and I recipe you up?  More than a couple new ones have wandered through my kitchen in the last year, so let’s mix it up and give you a little variety – not sure you can use them all together, but it could result in the weirdest lunchbox content grand prize so there’s that.

First and best (really, I don’t kid about stuff like that) is a cookie that came into my sights (and maw) via a co-worker.  Her name is Loreli, and she is a sweet and lovely lady who works with numbers.  And this one is a 10 out of 10….it is hard to express how violently I love this cookie, and how having the ingredients to make them in my kitchen make me break into a sweat.  I made a batch, and they were just as good as hers (that doesn’t always happen), and when I got home the next day, there was only one left.  I sat down, got comfy, and ate that bad boy slowly and with many noises, then texted Handsome Stranger and told him what I was doing and that it was like EATING HAPPINESS.  He replied “LOL”, then again with “I had to explain to the girls at work why I was laughing”.  So without further ado, I give you:

Happiness Cookies

I emailed Loreli and requested her recipe, and she responded “I’d be happy to share – and I will, but honestly – I don’t measure anything…..so I’ll give it my best shot!”  She was spot on…..and I got brave and eyeballed it myself, worked like a charm!  Phew….I don’t usually do that with baking!

½ cup creamy peanut butter (or chunky)

½ cup Crisco

2 eggs

½ cup sugar

1 cup brown sugar

1 tsp. vanilla

2 cups flour

1 tsp. baking soda

½ tsp. salt

1 pkg. Heath Bar toffee pieces (these are mui importante...buy 10-12 oz. of Heath bars and smash them up if necessary, just don't use chocolate chips or you are lame)

Preheat oven to 350, cream peanut butter, Crisco, sugars, eggs and vanilla, then add flour, soda and salt and mix until incorporated, then fold in toffee bits.  Drop by cookie scoop or spoon on cookie sheet and bake 11 minutes; let cool a minute and remove to cooling rack. HIDE FROM KIDS.

I don't have a pic of either, so you get spring

NEXT!!!!

How many times can I post about hummus?  As many as it takes!  On Spring break this year, my little brother who shares a love of food including cooking and inventing it and I went on a culinary adventure – we both work in education so we both had the week to lounge about and thumb our noses at our working stiff spouses who don’t get every holiday known to man off.  I had recently given him a tip on Bob’s Red Mill….for those who have bought their products, there is actually a STORE that carries it all – it also has an in-house restaurant, and you could spend a half day in there and still not see/eat everything.  He texted me on his first trip there and I swear he was hyperventilating in the bulk section....luckily he took his lovely wife so he had someone to hold a paper bag over his nose and mouth until he calmed down.  We decided to go again so we could share each others picks in person, and try a few of their breakfast specialties.  The food is excellent, but we both suffer from the “I can do better at home” syndrome, so it was more about the shared experience and terrorizing the bulk section than anything else – it is a really cool store, and it was really funny when he unintentionally snorted hickory smoke powder from one of the spice jars.

The plan was to then go to my fave Vietnamese restaurant and intro him to sweet tamarind soup, then take him home and show him how to make it, but since we weren't hungry yet I took him to Global World Foods.  It’s a Mediterranean market in our old childhood stomping grounds….used to be the Piggly Wiggly our mom/Uncle Bob worked at as meat wrapper/butcher, but is now home to an excellent selection of Greek and other Mediterranean specialties, including a deli to die for.  I had them throw a couple pitas in the brick oven then we sampled everything that turned his crank in the deli case….we chose a few things to purchase and when our bread was passed over the counter, we stood in the aisles and raked our hot pita through the dips.  I think I mortified him a bit, but once he tasted it I think he no longer cared – and these days if people think I’m weird, I just congratulate them on being right. 

One of my choices was butternut squash hummus.  I lovelovelove hummus done right, and this was sooooo different but AMAZINGLY light and flavorful – it has a beautiful orange color from the squash, and it also adds a sweetness unlike your average hummus….my taste buds screamed “THIS MUST BE COPIED.  A couple days later I grabbed a squash, peeled and cubed (small) half of it, then spread it on a cookie sheet lined with foil and drizzled with olive oil along with a dozen or more whole garlic cloves, and a sprinkling of kosher salt and popped it in the oven to roast, then let cool a bit.

Scene 2:  CUISINART.  How I love my Big C….it can do SO many things and is almost as powerful as Handsome Stranger and nearly as gorgeous – the hum of that motor gives me goosebumps.  In goes 3 cups of drained garbanzo beans….I make my own, I think canned ones are too hard, and mine are delicious just cooked and sprinkled with a little garlic salt.  Save some of the liquid if you have it, or just have some water on hand.  Now comes the unbelievable part.  I used NO nut butter in this…..I was going to add it, but kept tasting and it thought if it could taste THAT good without, why add more fat than necessary?  Lemon juice, olive oil, and kosher salt and pepper to taste and we had a winner!  I don’t care for cumin, so did not include like GWF did…..I can live with it, but why not do it how I like it?  Holy schnikes this stuff is wondermus!

Roasted Garlic and Butternut Hummus

Lovely stuff…..sweetness of the squash, the lovely mellow taste of garlic roasted to remove the POW, a bit of salt and plenty of lemon to balance the flavors out – it is very light and refreshing, but creamy and buttery as well, but with about half the fat of regular hummus, AND with extra veggies and that beany protein punch.  Another trick in my bag of hummus…..I am bean-centric!

½ Butternut Squash, peeled and cut in small cubes

12 (or more) cloves of garlic, peeled

Olive oil or spray

3 C. drained garbanzo beans

 ¼ C. olive oil

Juice of 1 lemon

Salt and pepper to taste

Preheat oven to 375, spray cookies sheet and add squash cubes and garlic, spray again or just drizzle w/olive oil and stir to coat.  Roast in oven 15-20 minutes, stir and roast 15-20 more until slightly browned and tender.  Put squash and garlic in food processor, add beans and olive oil, then start to process.  Add lemon juice half at a time, taste as you go until it’s how you like it.  Once you’ve added all the lemon you’re going to, add water one T at a time until it’s your desired consistency, then a couple pinches of kosher salt and a few grinds of black pepper and LET IT RUN.  I walk away and come back in 10-20 minutes….if the sides of the bowl are warm, you should be good.  Give it a taste, adjust seasonings/lemon/water as needed, and it should be smooth as a baby’s butt but far more appetizing!  Serve with crackers, pita, pita chips, tortilla chips, spread on grainy bread, tortilla, or a bagel….it’s sosososo good!

 That gives you a couple things to think about, I have a list of more that are coming soon - if you have a request, just shout it out and I'll consider anything - just no capers, you know how I feel about those little boogers.

"Ward, don't be too hard on the Beav..."

Sorry for the dry spell - blogging is more fun if you don’t HAVE to do it.  I marvel at Pioneer Woman and how she not only blogs pretty much daily, but also runs a huge business that sprang from that venture along with raising a family and running a ranch.  I’m sure she has good help now, but she probably never plops down in her recliner with a blankie and watches 14 episodes of “Leave it to Beaver” in a row.  And on that, I love that June does all the household chores with her hair did, crinolines under her fully gathered and nary a wrinkle skirts, with stockings and heels to boot, and confess to feeling a bit “cougaresque” as Wally matures into an All American Beefcake.  Last night he was playing tennis with an older woman, and I thought about my gramps old racquet hanging in the closet….AHEM.  But the sun is out, nature is calling, and my “yard” is a mess – my weeding and raking muscles will eventually stop screaming, but it does feel good to get something accomplished.

Handsome Stranger is currently working swing shift, and hopefully that’s coming to an end soon because it has messed with my dinner schedule to the point where I spend my evenings poking through the fridge looking for leftovers so I don’t have to cook a real meal.  I still cook for the kids, and could probably eat most of that, I just think I miss having dinner with him when he gets home and just don’t care (sad face here..)

Yesterday I was thinking about what we had at home that I could make into meals, and came up with 3 ideas and that’s when the wild hare crossed my path….I decided to make them all so I didn’t have to cook for at least 3 days.  I know….crazy is as crazy does, but for me it can be like a game – how many things can I do at once without screwing any of them up?  Well, it appears 2….the turkey meatballs for Swedish meatballs got a little brown on the bottom, but they still taste great and I deglazed the pan to help color the sauce.  Yeah…..I MEANT to do that!  I actually only finished one meal which we promptly ate, but I have the guts for 3 more just waiting to be thrown together in short order.

#1 was a thick, saucy Bolognese, full of ground turkey, veggies, red wine and tomatoes and paste – it will grace two separate meals, one involving fresh cheese tortellini’s and the other possibly a lasagna-esque dish layered with a béchamel and some yummy cheese.  #2 were the meatballs – I realized I had zero butter, so that will have to wait until lovely daughter gets her buns to the store…the sauce for Swedish meatballs really needs butter to form the roux.  And lastly, I tried a new recipe and made sweet and savory couscous to go with grilled Greek seasoned chicken breast fillets.  Practicing some Greek recipes for Son #1’s upcoming hitchin’ to Someday Daughter-in-Law, and this is one I found recently that sounded good, and all agreed.  Especially my Son in Law who commented on how healthy it seemed.  Sucker…..just kidding, it wasn’t bad at all!

I’m including the recipe for the couscous, but not the chicken because it was so simple – I filleted 4 large chicken breasts (Costco sells em Dolly Parton sized) into 3 thin fillets each, then sprinkled one side w/Greek Seasoning and put that side down on a hot grill that was lightly sprayed.  Once they were all cooking, I sprinkled the other side with a little more Greek Seasoning, then a skosh of kosher salt and garlic granules, turned when they started to turn white around the edges, then cooked until there were no more puddles of pink juice on top.  The thinner ones only took a couple minutes on each side…don’t overcook or they’ll be super dry.  Here’s the couscous - it can be a bit grainy and dry-seeming, but you can add a bit more broth if you want it to clump up….just realize that not EVERYTHING has to clump up, and try a new texture, - you might like it!

Sweet & Savory Couscous

1 T. butter

1 onion, diced

1 quart chicken broth or water w/3 tsp. chicken base added

1/3 C. golden raisins

Salt & Pepper to taste

2 C. couscous (plain or veggie, but not the Israeli pearl cuz I don’t know cook time)

¼ C. toasted almonds (or pine nuts if you’re rich or have a pine nut farm)

In large skillet or big saucepan, heat butter until melted, add onion and sauté until semi tender.  Add broth and raisins, bring to a boil and simmer 10 minutes.  Add couscous all at once, stir to combine, cover and remove from heat for 10 minutes.  Fluff up with spoon, then stir in nuts and serve.  You could put butter on it if you wanted….I’m trying to be good and it was delicious just like this.

You could also make a salad with this - just cool, then dress with olive oil and lemon juice, any kind of seasoning or herbs that sound good, and could put in chicken, garbanzos, olives, roasted chopped veggies, feta, or whatever sounds good….serve on lettuce leaves for a little crunch and less guilt!  Now back to Wall….oops, I mean the Beav.  Rawr.

"Oh fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge"

Haha, love that line.  A Christmas Story is an indispensable tradition in our home, as is It's a Wonderful Life...unfortunately George Bailey is on VHS and decided he was going to monkey with the tracking.  I got all the way up to George holding Mary's bathrobe ransom while she was indisposed in the bushes before I had to shut it off due to an almost uncontrollable urge to claw my eyes out after forcing them to jump around through all the lines on the screen.  I need to find it on DVD...or maybe there's a 24 hour marathon between now and the 25th.  But we do love the travails of the hapless Ralphie and his merry band of dysfunctional family and friends...the scene where Ralphie tells his mom one of his buddies taught him that very bad word and the hilarity that ensues is possibly one of my favorite in all of TV land.  And way to go Flick for taking one for your BFF....even if it wasn't one you volunteered for.

Christmas comes every year and brings traditions old and new....when I was a kid, it was always Midnight Mass, and I think it was possibly a High Mass at that...lots of incense that made old timers and the Christmas Catholics faint, a little bit of reading the insides of your eyelids, and every single old standard religious Christmas song pulled out and dusted off for it's crowning moment.  Polish Dish for breakfast Christmas morning, and an endless assortment of goodies and candy that we could eat as much of as we wanted for one day, even if it made us throw up.  Mom had her standards; tea cakes, toffee bars, our favorite cookies (that's the name of them, they're like sugar cookies but better), and of course, See's fudge with walnuts.  And we weren't sissy and had to buy ours from a store, we made it ourselves....I would say it was a secret family recipe, but Mom submitted it to St. Clare's Cookbook in the 60's so I think that ship sailed a long time ago.

The story was, as my limited memory allows, was that a female relative of my Mom's Mother worked with Mary See in California, and she got the recipe either directly from the horses mouth (she probably was, I would be if I made all that candy year round), or possibly by copying it down while Mary was busy with a crystallizing emergency, or perhaps unsticking her tongue from the divinity beaters.  I don't know, and I have no idea if it's really true or a hoax, but I do know that recipe has been floating through my family since at least the 60's, and it's damn fine fudge (which is apparently really hard to take a picture of).

I am a fudge snob, and have had very few that can meet my exacting standards...not to hard, not too soft, not too sweet, and for GODS SAKE, not grainy - that to me is death to fudge.  This stuff is silky smooth when done correctly, will hold it's shape but is soft enough that you could spread it on toast....its' a wonderment, it is.  This year I involved Handsome Stranger in the process because "If I get hit by a bus, someone has to know how to do this", but mostly because I was tired and I didn't feel like flapping my arm fat for the time it takes to beat it correctly.  We are up to 8 batches, and because of a recent share/flop, I decided to the last 3 myself, one after the other to see if I could refine the process.  Bingo, bango, bongo, I hit utter perfection on #3...each batch was a little better than the last, and I think I have it down now...they will all be very, VERY good, but the look and feel of the last one was like no batch I have ever seen - let's see if you can do it now!  I will, however change the name so I don't get my arse sued...

See it's Fudge

Simple process, with just a few rules....this does NOT require a candy thermometer, and I would not even know what temp to tell you to cook it to - but everything else should be pretty precise if you don't want to make hot fudge sauce.  Which is what I do if one miserably fails....add a little milk or cream and thin to pourable consistency - it makes an unbearably good sauce for ice cream, pound cake or even to put in your white stuff to make chocolate milk.  What I'm saying is you really can't fail...unless perhaps you incinerate it.

In a large bowl, put:

2 Cups chocolate chips
2 cubes salted butter (1 cup)
1 tsp. vanilla

Set aside.  Prepare an 8x8 square pan by flipping it upside down, then putting a square of foil over it and molding it to the sides; carefully take the foil off and flip the pan over and fit it into the pan, molding to make it fit inside.  Spray with pan spray, or use a little melted butter with a pastry brush to paint the entire surface of the foil.

In a large saucepan (too small and you'll be scraping burnt sugar off your stove for weeks) put:

1 SCANT cup evaporated whole milk (one cup minus 2 Tablespoons)
1-1/4 C. mini marshmallows OR 10 large ones (I throw in a small handful/one more big one for fun)
2 cups sugar

Stir mixture carefully with wooden paddle if you have one, or a wooden spoon, try not splash it up the sides too much to prevent crystallization.  Put over medium high heat until it starts to boil, then turn down so it continues to boil, but not wickedly hard....it gets too hot and overcooks that way.  Time it for exactly 6 minutes from the time it starts boiling hard enough that you can't make it stop by stirring it, then remove from heat and immediately pour over butter/chocolate.  Stir with a wooden spoon until butter and chocolate are completely melted, then break with tradition and take your hand mixer to it....beat the hell out of it, scraping the sides until it starts to cool and get thicker....when it's thick enough that you have to scrape it out of the bowl rather than pouring it, it's ready.

At this point you would add nuts if you like - the recipe always had you add it to the chips and butter, but I suspect the oils in the nuts might have messed with the texture.  I now just fold them in before I scrape it into the pan and it works just dandy.  Dump/scrape all into the pan, and smooth out with swirly's if you wish and make sure you get it evenly into the corners.  Let it sit for several hours, or put in the fridge if you need it in a hurry....I don't because it makes it too hard, and I'm afraid it will taste like onions or smoked fish or whatever weirdness is lurking in my fridge.  When it's hard, remove entire batch by pulling the foil out of the pan, peel it off and put on a cutting board to cut.  I use a long knife with a paring knife, and scrape the long knife on both side with the small one to keep cuts clean...you might try dipping it in warm water, but it can get messy.

I like that if you leave the cut fudge out and slightly separate the pieces, they form a crust on the outside that is like a super thin shell that protects the inner creaminess lurking within...if you put it in a sealed container or wrap it it'll stay soft, but whatever floats your boat.  The only problem you have now is what are you gonna do with the fudge scrapings?  I have a good idea...."Oh fuuuuuuuudge...."

A Bionic Breakfast

SORRY....PICTURE WILL BE FORTHCOMING NEXT TIME I MAKE THIS!!

Computers are like God and the devil....they lift your soul up with wondrous things one minute, and send you gnashing your teeth into a fit of helpless rage the next - we give this glowing box way too much power in our lives. I remember when the only computers were giant room size machines with spinning things and flashing lights, and Steve Austin and Jamie Sommers, the most awesome bionic couple that never was.  Remember when the olden days meant covered wagons and outdoor plumbing and not bell bottom jeans and the Ford Pinto?  Criminy I'm old.

I love the computer, and now it's in my phone - anytime, night or day (as long as I haven't run my battery down playing Candy Crush or left the GPS on after driving to Milwaukie for the 50th time because my memory is that bad) I can look stuff up, play a game, check the weather anywhere in the world, look at pictures from the last 2 years, keep in contact with family, see what friends are up to, and delete the 40 emails a second that get dropped into my inbox.  After I make sure none are a real email from friends...but I apparently have none.  Convenient?  Hells to the YES....a pain in the ass?  You betcha.  Continuing to text while someone tries to engage you in conversation is quite rude but I have done it.  Laughing out loud during that exchange is boorish...done it too.  We will have cellular implants soon, and it can't happen fast enough...I hate the little rubber thingy I have to put on my phone to protect it when I drop it, it falls out of my pocket and bounces out the car door onto the street, or I fling it across the room because Candy Crush put me in time out, and having it installed in my head will keep both my hands free to work the Wii remote and still be able to drink a glass of wine.  Just not sure about where I'll have to plug in the charger...

My sister in law lost all the recipes on her computer due to some massive hardware failure, and son number 2 was not able to retrieve any of the data off her hard drive, so she occasionally will request one that I've given her in the past.  And I get why it's cool to put them on your computer, but I prize recipes like not much else....they have to get written down and put in the binder, because losing a really good one can crush my soul.  I lost the eggnog scones once for over a year...I had a little party when I found it again, and still can't eat the damn things - right, who am I trying to kid?  Someday I will write a cookbook, so the binders and this blog are my reference for that purpose - I even still have a RECIPE BOX....go to an antique store or a fossil dig if you don't know what that is.  And every recipe carries with it memories....even if I forgot where it came from, I can always recall at least one of the times I made it.

So I got a text from said SIL the other day asking for my apple coffee cake recipe, and I was busy and told her it was on the blog.  Quite a while later she txt'd back and said she looked everywhere and it wasn't there, so she made raspberry scones because that was what her work peeps requested anyway.  My first thought was that she was nipping her vanilla a bit too liberally, because I KNEW it was there, so when I went to search, was shocked to find it WASN'T.  Not sure why....I know I am holding back on one recipe in case I ever open a bakery or cafe etc, and will feature said product as "World's Best" Item and become famous when Guy Fieri shows up and lets me drive his Camaro after tasting one.  And don't get me wrong, this recipe KICKS SERIOUS ASS....sorry for the swear, but dammit it's the best coffeecake I've EVER had!  

First time I had it was when my daughter made it for Mother's Day...she was probably pre-teen, and no doubt Handsome Daddy helped, but it was and has always been the most moist and delicious coffeecake known to me and everyone I've ever made it for.  I tweaked it ever so slightly and doubled the topping - I'm a sucker for the sweet crunch and the way it melts into the top of the cake in pockets of pure delight, so why not?  The kids made it every Mother's Day until they grew up and stiffed me with diamond earrings, the Jag, and a cruise to Tahiti....I would trade it all for coffeecake.

Apple Sour Cream Coffee Cake

Cake:

1/4 C. shortening

1/2 C. sugar

1 egg

1/2 tsp. vanilla

1/2 tsp. baking powder

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1/8 tsp. salt

1 C. flour

1/2 C. sour cream

1 large apple, peeled and diced

Topping:

1/2 C. brown sugar

1/2 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 C. chopped walnuts

2 T. butter, cold

Preheat oven to 350.  Beat shortening and sugar until fluffy, beat in egg, vanilla, baking powder, baking soda and salt and mix well.  Put in half the flour and the sour cream and blend, add remaining flour and apple and stir just until mixed, spread into a greased 8x8 pan.  Mix brown sugar, cinnamon and walnuts, using a fork, smash in butter until crumbles and sprinkle evenly over batter.  Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes or until no longer jiggly in center and a toothpick comes out clean.  It's even better warm than cold, but cold is still better than any other coffeecake on earth....not kidding.

You can use other fruit - I've made it lots of times with blueberries, and am going to try it with rhubarb soon.  And I always double it and put it in a 9x13ish pan....if it's a bit smaller, it will take longer because it's thicker.  Nuts are a choice, of course....but walnuts go with apples, and I like that they make the top crunchy - you could use pecans or almonds too, or none at all.  It's not cakey, light, or dry....it borders on pudding-ey, but is not smooshy either - just drop dead moist and flavor for miles...the apples are heavenly!

So there you go, Pam - in a race against raspberry scones I'm sure THEY will come in a respectable second, 'cause I think you know how much this cake rocks...but can I have your recipe for scones?  You just never know, maybe you'll be riding shotgun with me in Guy's baby while he works on a plate of each...

  

Layering for Fall

Is it fall again ALREADY??  Seems like cold and rain came overnight - altho today it's sunny and beautiful outside, but requires either something a little warm on top, a heavily padded bra, or T Rex arms to cover your God-given temp gauges.  It's soup and woodstove and fuzzy pants weather, and we are once again reaping the bounty of the gazillion acres of squash my sister in law (who will now and forever be known as "My Produce Goddess") obviously planted last spring.  There are new varieties I must try, but am hooked right now on butternut and delicata, with heart of gold in a very close 3rd place.  So many recipes, so MUCH squash!!

I love that Weight Watchers has made vegetables and fruit zero points plus, and squash is one of those that actually gives me a twinge of guilt on occasion....it can be so meaty, so carby, and SO filling that it seems like I'm cheating - even as I eat it with nothing but a little salt, and not slathered in melted butter and brown sugar as I was formerly accustomed.  Sometimes when I come home from work I will cut a delicata in half, scoop out the guts, sprinkle w/kosher salt and put cut sides down on a plate w/a T. of water and cover w/plastic, then pop in the microwave for 7 minutes...it is filling and warming and keeps me out of the graham crackers and peanut butter.  And marshmallow creme if I'm stupid enough to buy it again.  

Butternut is not quite as sweet, but has a texture that holds up very well in soups and other recipes - it will start to break down, but adds a silky thickness and a buttery sweetness that lends itself very well to chicken soups of any kind....cook it with milk or cream and a bit of curry and you have a wickedly good creamy soup with tons of body and a lovely taste and mouth feel.  I just tried a recipe for roasted butternut and quinoa salad that turned out pretty good, but I want to tweak it a bit to add more flavor....didn't pack enough of a punch so back to the drawing board on that. 

I actually made the salad for a party, and at the same time made another untested recipe for butternut squash lasagne as a vegetarian side dish since I knew Brisket of the Gods would be waiting there (I kid you not...I may never attempt brisket now because I don't think I can meet those expectations, thank you SO much Matthew) - it was very well received, and since there were no vegetarians there to hog it all, we each got to take some home along with a hefty bag of other leftovers....the few of us that showed up must have all been cooks in a lumber camp in past lives.  That may have been the shortest distance between trying something new and putting it on the bog I've experienced, but it was pretty darn good so here it is for your viewing/creating pleasure.

Butternut Squash Lasagna

Found this on Pinterest; Brian Malarkey's recipe on spongedesign.com.  I had to be different, however - not a big fan of lemon zest so I used orange....it gives it a somewhat floral flavor, so you can use lemon if you think that sounds better.  Also, don't try to precook no-cook lasagne sheets...they shred and fall apart, EPIC FAIL.  If you use them, I think you need to add a bit of liquid to your sauce, so maybe go w/regular ones?

1 large or 2 small Butternut squash – Peeled, cored and sliced thin 1/4  inch

Olive oil, kosher salt and pepper

10 to 14  Pasta Sheets – Cooked and put in cool water bath

1/4 C Butter
¼ Cup  Flour
3 ½ Cups Whole Milk
6 cloves  Garlic
1 handful  Spinach
1/2 bunch  Italian Parsley
Salt & pepper to taste

3 Cups  Shredded Mozzarella
½ Cup  Parmesan

1/4 C. butter
10 Sage Leaves – Sliced Thin
Zest from a lemon (or orange)
Salt & Pepper

Pre-heat oven to 375F.  Drizzle a cookie sheet/jelly roll pan (with sides) with olive oil and place the slices of butternut squash on it, season with salt and pepper, repeat another layer until all the butternut is layered.  Cover with foil and bake for about 8 to 10 minutes until the squash is cooked yet still firm enough to break apart.

While that is roasting, heat ½ stick of butter in a large skillet or deep saucepan and melt until almost browned, whisk in the flour and continue to cook for about 30 seconds, then slowly whisk in the milk and bring to a boil, Add the whole garlic cloves (yeah, that threw me off too, just do it) and continue to cook at a medium heat until mixture thickens. Transfer the mixture to the blender and blend in the Spinach/parsley. Season with salt and Pepper. It will taste very garlicky....this will mellow when you bake it.

Rub a 9x13 Baking dish with a little butter and begin the layers: Cream Sauce, pasta, Mozzarella Parmesan, butternut – Repeat. I used 4 layers of noodles, then used on sauce and cheese on the top layer. Cover with Foil (spray the side that will touch the cheese first and it won't stick) and Bake for 40 minutes at 375; remove foil and bake for another 15 or until the top is crispy golden brown. Let rest for 10 minutes before serving.

Serve with Sage/Lemon (or orange) Brown Butter:  In small sauté pan bring 1/4 C. butter to a light brown color – Very hot and bubbling.  Add Sage, Zest, salt and Pepper and remove from pan immediately; Spoon over the entire lasagne or a little on each piece.

I just heated up a piece to stage it for the photo (thank God for leftovers), and was forced to eat some of it - it was light, creamy, cheesy and had the bright flavors of the squash and orange zest, with the more mellow notes of browned butter, sage and parmesan...very nice!  Enjoy this beautiful season, and eat more squash....don't let The Produce Goddess down!

  

Be Careful What You Ask For...

Now here's a novel idea...how 'bout I give you a bunch of recipes recently requested with out all the blathering that usually comes with just one?  Done.  But just so you know, I can tell which posts get the most hits, so if it's this one I will be devastated and probably fall into a deep depression, never cooking anything again that doesn't come in a waxy box that contains the words "peel back the foil from the brownie".  Then you'll be sorry....

Dilly Beans

Marie, this one is for you...actually for Matthew.  We love dilly beans, and I have to hide them because the kids will come up with vodka and spicy bloody mary mix and just pour it straight into a quart jar of them that they drained the brine out of.  They are a little crunchy, nice and dilly, and the more red peppers you put in, the less of the spicy bloody mary mix you need....super simple to make too!

This recipe is for 5 quarts because I threw away my canner and have to use a stock pot to can in....only 5 jars will fit and I have to put extra rings on the bottom for a rack.  Anyone have an old canner they want to get rid of?




5 lbs fresh green beans, washed and stem end snapped off (we like the pointy end)
5-10 cloves of garlic, peeled
5-10 dried red chili peppers (or more...)
5-10 heads dill
5 C. vinegar
5 C. water
1/4 C. salt

Bring your canner or large stock pot a bit more than half full of water to a boil while you prep the jars.  Bring the vinegar, water and salt to a boil in another pan, keep simmering.  In each sterile wide mouth quart jar, put one or two each garlic cloves, peppers and dill heads, then fill with beans, pointy end down.  Pack em in, turn the jar sideways and find holes to push more in until it's nice and tight.  Stand up the jar, and use scissors (I have itty bitty ones) to snip off anything that extends past the jar collar.  Trust me...it's the fastest way.  Fill all 5 jars, then carefully pour the boiling vinegar mixture to fill each one 1/2" from the top.  Run a knife down the insides of the jar to release air bubbles (I didn't do this because I forgot, and only blew the bottom off one jar...whatev), then wipe the top edge with a clean cloth, then put your sterile lid and ring on each jar, tightening the ring firmly.  Handsome Stranger said the one lid that got crinkled was because I made the ring too tight...I put him in a headlock and he said he was just kidding, it was probly just a defective lid.  Put jars carefully into the canner of boiling water, add more if they don't have at least an inch over the top of them, then put the lid on and bring to a boil.  Process for 10 minutes at a full boil, then remove from canner and let cool.  Any lid that doesn't seal gets stored in the fridge unless you like to froth at the mouth.

Here's one for several people who asked after seeing a pic on facebook....I posted the recipe there too, but I have trouble finding recipes people post there, it's like writing one down on the back of an envelope, then trying to find it when you don't a. file paperwork more than once a year, and b. like to mix your recipes in with your paperwork.  This way you can say "Man, I wish I had some of those bitchin brownies", which will remind you of bitchinvittles, and voila!

I made these after someone posted the recipe, then posted my own pix and promptly got two requests.  I bet at least 3 people have lick marks on their computer or smart phone....

Mortal Sins (Peanut butter brownies)

Because once you have one under your belt, there's nowhere to go but down....

1 box brownie mix...or make your own, I do not care
1/2 C. butter
1 C. peanut butter
2 C. powdered sugar
1 C. chocolate chips
1 T. butter

Bake the brownies according to directions in a 9x13 pan, let cool completely.  Beat butter, peanut butter and powdered sugar until fluffy...try not to eat half of it before you spread it on the brownies evenly.  Refrigerate one hour, then melt the butter, stir in the chocolate chips, and microwave one minute (or 30 seconds at a time), then stir until melted and smooth.  Spread carefully over peanutbutter frosting and put in fridge for another hour to set.  Cut into squares and be prepared....you will not be able to stop at one.  No one has so far....OMG these are too easy to be this damn good!  Only thing I thought might improve them is to double the peanutbutter filling....but then you could also skip the bottom and top and just make a bowl of the frosting and be done with it.  But we live in a civilized world, so if you do don't tell anyone.

And last but not least - made these after someone posted THIS recipe on fb, and brought them to work.  Request, request, request...

Sticky Pecan Baby Buns

Hahaha...I made that name up and it makes me laugh even though I'm sure it will disgust some of you, but probably only the ones who didn't get to eat one.  I made them in muffin tins and ended up with a lot of leftover cake batter, but you could also make this in two round cake pans to make things easy on yourself when you tip them out of the pan...did I say tip?  I meant scrape, cajole, crowbar...pay attention to the end unless you want to curse like I did.

2/3 C. packed brown sugar
1/2 C. butter
1/3 C. honey
1.5 C. pecans, coarsley chopped

2.5 C. flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
3 eggs
2 C. sugar
1 C. vegetable oil
1 C. sour cream
2 tsp. vanilla

Preheat oven to 350.  Grease 24 muffin tins with crisco...don't skimp.  In medium saucepan, heat brown sugar, butter and honey, stirring until melted and smooth, about 2 minutes.  Stir in pecans and set aside.  In medium bowl, stir flour, baking powder and soda, salt and set aside.

In large bowl beat eggs and sugar about 3 minutes until thick and lemon colored.  Add oil, sour cream and vanilla, beat until combined.  Gradually add dry ingredients and beat until combined, scraping bowl.

Put 1 heaping T. of pecan mixture in bottom of each muffin tin, spreading it out a bit with the back of the spoon.  Put about 1/4 C. of the cake mix on top of the pecans, then bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean.  Cool on rack for FIVE MINUTES ONLY, loosening sides of cakes while it cools, using a sharp knife if need be.  Put rack on TOP of cakes upside down, then holding both together, flip pan over and smack the rack/pan on the counter once or twice for good measure.  Lift off the muffin tin and hopefully all the cakes fell out....if not loosen any "klingons" and then scrape out any excess pecan and put back on the cake it came off of.  You may want to stagger baking the two pans so you don't let one sit too long like I did...saves on confession for saying very bad words.  Let cool a bit, because that topping is about the same temp as what comes out of an old school glue gun...and your lips will look funny with bandaids covering the missing skin.

These are wicked good warm, kind of remind me of the flavor of baklava without the excessive sweetness...and you can smell the butter a mile away.  The cake is amazingly soft, rich and delicious...use the rest to make some cupcakes and you will not be unhappy you had extra.  And if you don't want to mess with cupcake tins, use two round cake pans, increase the cooking time 5-10 minutes, and just cut them into wedges when they cool...all comes out the same, right?

There you go....no muss, no fuss and no warm and engaging stories with a positive and uplifing moral that will just get in the way of you making these delightful recipes and committing the sin of gluttony.  I hope you enjoy yourself.  Hmpf.