Meant to Be...

36 years is a long time to do anything.  Really….if someone told you that you had to drive the same car for 36 years, you’d probably think they were crazy.  All those dings and dents, layers of paint, worn out upholstery, sagging springs, cloudy windshield, the MILES….not to mention the strange noises, weird smells, and all the little defects you finally gave up on fixing and just pretend not to notice anymore.  But then again, it’s COMFORTABLE….you have your butt-print in the seat, the stations programed just how you like em, and you know exactly what to do if you really need to make it go – it’s like a part of you.  As long as it never leaves you stranded, it’s been there for you rain or shine, why break in an unknown?

So yeah…..my 36^th wedding anniversary is coming up in May, and it’s hard to believe neither of us has wrapped the other around a tree or launched into a ravine.  I kid…sort of.  As I get older (and I’m fairly certain it has to do with hormone depletion) I’m much more mellow about the man bringing home another lawnmower he found in the dumpster at work, or when I stumble across a stash of shiny new tools bought on the sly at Harbor Freight and put away in the garage immediately rather than on the dining room table to grow cobwebs until he is directed to remove them or dig them out of the recycling bin.  I try to save my righteous indignation for work - peeps should be paid to fear me.

As for the wear and tear, at least we are a matched pair….he has the crinkle between his eyebrows and he HATES that I point it out when he’s mad about something, I have the “mad mouth” wrinkle that makes me look like my mom/gramma in their golden years, and we have matching aches, pains, and titanium stents – we really do believe in togetherness.  But there is nothing wrong with comfortable....I like that I don’t have to suck in my gut all the time, and if I need to, hell, there’s underwear for that.

Speaking of comfort, again with the soup….it’s a warm cozy hug in a bowl, and like a fuzzy blanket will relax you, fill your tummy, and put you to sleep.  Must be old people food….we eat more and more soup as we move through life, I’m thinking it’s the geezer version of baby food.  Easy to digest, not a lot of chewing, and plenty of veggies to keep you regular – it’s geriatric genius!  This recipe came about because I’ve always wanted to make it, but didn’t know where to find the little pasta balls.  I think there is a specific pasta for this, but found Israeli couscous to look suspiciously similar in size, so I got my hands on some, then started googling and came up with my own recipe – it is a new fave, and I use kale instead of spinach, which I recently found is very good for your eyes…anything that helps avoid growing more squinty lines is awesome in my book! 

  

Italian Wedding Soup

I read that this is a common offering at Italian restaurants everywhere, but I’ve never seen it…wait, is Pizza Hut Italian?  I have, however, seen it at my local grocery store, in a large pot by cardboard cups, and most likely poured out of a gigantic waxed milk type carton and heated to temp so that random people can stick their fingers in it or double dip with the inevitable tasting spoons nearby.  I prefer to make my own, thank you very much, where I control the germ content, know exactly what’s in it, and don’t have to pay $3.99 for a container that won’t even fill one of my special soup cups.  If you don’t like to chop, stir, brown, season, and be creative, there are a few cheats, otherwise you can get yours at the store…it’s like having a close personal relationship with your entire community!

Meatballs

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut in 1-2” chunks (or about 12 oz. ground chicken or turkey)

½ tsp. garlic salt

¼ c. panko (or bread crumbs, or make your own by grating a piece of soft bread but use a little more)

1 egg white (just do it, you don’t need the yolk)

Soup

1 T. olive oil (or whatever oil, just not motor)

2 Carrots, peeled and cut in half (large ends in quarters) and sliced thickish

3 stalks celery, split and cut in chunklets (I like the middle part…use the leaves)

I small onion, chopped

1-2 tsp. dried thyme

½ bunch of kale, as much of the stem cut off as possible and chopped

2 quarts of chicken broth (use water and a good chicken base if you don’t make your own (wuss) or  buy the stuff in cartons/cans (what’s THAT like??)

1 C. hot water

½ C. Israeli couscous (Not an easy find, but Fred Meyer has in bulk - you can use any small pasta instead)

Salt and pepper to taste

You can pan fry or roast the meatballs, so if you prefer the low maintenance method, heat the oven to 375 and spray a cookie sheet.  If you went boneless skinless, you need to either throw the chunks of raw chicken breast in a food processor, then pulse until it’s all ground up…poke around in there with a spatula (not while it’s running), and pulse again to make sure there are no chunks left.  Scrape into bowl, and add the other ingredients and mix, then shape into teeny, tiny meatballs.  Soooooo cute!!  Put on cookie sheet and bake in oven for about 10 minutes….should get a little golden on the bottom.  Remove and let cool on sheet.  You can also spray a big fry pan and cook them that way….just keep moving them so they roll around, and then let them cool in the pan until you’re ready.

(Feeling extra lazy??  Put meat mixture on a piece of wax paper, and use your hands to flatten and shape into a square about ½” thick.  Use a big knife to cut through it both directions in a ½” square grid, then flop the whole thing, meat side down, into an oiled (sprayed) heated large skillet big enough to accommodate the square.  Let brown, then peel off the wax paper, flip it over, and brown on the other side.  Once they’re browned, you can use the edge of your spatula to separate them all, and voila!  Tiny square meatballs!)

In large stock pot, add oil and heat to medium high, then add carrot, celery and onion and saute until onion is translucent.  Add thyme and stir a minute or so (I hear this toasts the herbs and makes them more flavorful), then add kale and stir in (fresh spinach is the norm, and it’s added at the end – my son in law ate all the spinach so I subbed kale and really liked it).  Pour in the chicken broth and turn up to high and add the meatballs.  Pour the 1 cup hot water into the pan you cooked the meatballs in, and make sure you scrape up every bit of lovely fond, then pour that into the soup….colors it beautifully!

Now, on another burner, heat a skillet until hot and dry.  Add the couscous and shake, shake, shake that pan!  Keep those balls moving, and when a delicate golden brown, dump them into the soup and listen to the sizzle!  When the pot boils, turn down to simmer and let cook about 10 minutes, or until couscous is tender.  Salt and pepper to taste, add fresh grated Parmesan to the top when serving if you like, and have at it….only thing that makes this better is a second bowl!

The other thing about a 36 year commitment is that eventually it becomes, as our grandson points out, a “classic”….that does not necessarily denote great value or desirability, but sure feels like home to me – here’s to another 36 years, HS – you are priceless to me!

"Ward, don't be too hard on the Beav..."

Sorry for the dry spell - blogging is more fun if you don’t HAVE to do it.  I marvel at Pioneer Woman and how she not only blogs pretty much daily, but also runs a huge business that sprang from that venture along with raising a family and running a ranch.  I’m sure she has good help now, but she probably never plops down in her recliner with a blankie and watches 14 episodes of “Leave it to Beaver” in a row.  And on that, I love that June does all the household chores with her hair did, crinolines under her fully gathered and nary a wrinkle skirts, with stockings and heels to boot, and confess to feeling a bit “cougaresque” as Wally matures into an All American Beefcake.  Last night he was playing tennis with an older woman, and I thought about my gramps old racquet hanging in the closet….AHEM.  But the sun is out, nature is calling, and my “yard” is a mess – my weeding and raking muscles will eventually stop screaming, but it does feel good to get something accomplished.

Handsome Stranger is currently working swing shift, and hopefully that’s coming to an end soon because it has messed with my dinner schedule to the point where I spend my evenings poking through the fridge looking for leftovers so I don’t have to cook a real meal.  I still cook for the kids, and could probably eat most of that, I just think I miss having dinner with him when he gets home and just don’t care (sad face here..)

Yesterday I was thinking about what we had at home that I could make into meals, and came up with 3 ideas and that’s when the wild hare crossed my path….I decided to make them all so I didn’t have to cook for at least 3 days.  I know….crazy is as crazy does, but for me it can be like a game – how many things can I do at once without screwing any of them up?  Well, it appears 2….the turkey meatballs for Swedish meatballs got a little brown on the bottom, but they still taste great and I deglazed the pan to help color the sauce.  Yeah…..I MEANT to do that!  I actually only finished one meal which we promptly ate, but I have the guts for 3 more just waiting to be thrown together in short order.

#1 was a thick, saucy Bolognese, full of ground turkey, veggies, red wine and tomatoes and paste – it will grace two separate meals, one involving fresh cheese tortellini’s and the other possibly a lasagna-esque dish layered with a béchamel and some yummy cheese.  #2 were the meatballs – I realized I had zero butter, so that will have to wait until lovely daughter gets her buns to the store…the sauce for Swedish meatballs really needs butter to form the roux.  And lastly, I tried a new recipe and made sweet and savory couscous to go with grilled Greek seasoned chicken breast fillets.  Practicing some Greek recipes for Son #1’s upcoming hitchin’ to Someday Daughter-in-Law, and this is one I found recently that sounded good, and all agreed.  Especially my Son in Law who commented on how healthy it seemed.  Sucker…..just kidding, it wasn’t bad at all!

I’m including the recipe for the couscous, but not the chicken because it was so simple – I filleted 4 large chicken breasts (Costco sells em Dolly Parton sized) into 3 thin fillets each, then sprinkled one side w/Greek Seasoning and put that side down on a hot grill that was lightly sprayed.  Once they were all cooking, I sprinkled the other side with a little more Greek Seasoning, then a skosh of kosher salt and garlic granules, turned when they started to turn white around the edges, then cooked until there were no more puddles of pink juice on top.  The thinner ones only took a couple minutes on each side…don’t overcook or they’ll be super dry.  Here’s the couscous - it can be a bit grainy and dry-seeming, but you can add a bit more broth if you want it to clump up….just realize that not EVERYTHING has to clump up, and try a new texture, - you might like it!

Sweet & Savory Couscous

1 T. butter

1 onion, diced

1 quart chicken broth or water w/3 tsp. chicken base added

1/3 C. golden raisins

Salt & Pepper to taste

2 C. couscous (plain or veggie, but not the Israeli pearl cuz I don’t know cook time)

¼ C. toasted almonds (or pine nuts if you’re rich or have a pine nut farm)

In large skillet or big saucepan, heat butter until melted, add onion and sauté until semi tender.  Add broth and raisins, bring to a boil and simmer 10 minutes.  Add couscous all at once, stir to combine, cover and remove from heat for 10 minutes.  Fluff up with spoon, then stir in nuts and serve.  You could put butter on it if you wanted….I’m trying to be good and it was delicious just like this.

You could also make a salad with this - just cool, then dress with olive oil and lemon juice, any kind of seasoning or herbs that sound good, and could put in chicken, garbanzos, olives, roasted chopped veggies, feta, or whatever sounds good….serve on lettuce leaves for a little crunch and less guilt!  Now back to Wall….oops, I mean the Beav.  Rawr.

A Gift From the Heart

Handsome Stranger has struggled for years when it comes to gifts for me, and I really feel bad for him. I never think "For cryin' out LOUD, you've known me for over 33 years, why the HELL can't you read my mind??" because I don't know what I want myself most of the time. I am also cheaper than than the day is long, and will, immediately upon opening any gift, will think (in my head most of the time) "Where did you buy this? Was it on sale or did you use a coupon? Did you check online to see if you could get it for less?"....I can't help it. He overthrew the flowery romantic notion of buying jewelry long ago since I just lose it; the last such items were a new rock in my engagement band because apparently the other one broke off and is probably in a landfill or one of our former custodians teeth (I think it happened in the file room), and a simple anniversary ring for our 25th that I am actually wearing right now. And that is fine with me - the man played his hand when he bought me the Camaro for my 50th so he can do what he wants.

It is also difficult to surprise me. I hate knowing what I'm getting, so I've had to be very careful during the month of December to not look at my bank account (I clean up the aftermath on the 26th), avoid rifling through his wallet and drawers, and run away if I see a box/bag/mysterious lumpy thing that appears to be in one of our big suitcases...ruins the surprise. But this year he was successful...I had no clue (except the box of Sees, I could smell the damn raspberry creams through the wrapping paper) and was delighted when I unwrapped a set of Kitchenaid pasta making attachments I have always wanted but was too cheap to buy. I've seen the occasional one at Goodwill, but after noting cat hair in one, determined that purchasing one second hand would be like using a toothbrush you found in a gas station bathroom. And he used a coupon....I love that man!

So my first experience was making lasagne noodles....you only use one attachment, the roller, and just have to run the rested dough through on several different settings until it's the width of the roller and as thick as you like, then lay it out on towels while you make the rest of the ingredients so you can put it all together. It was AMAZING lasagne...the sheets were thin, and had a more pastry-ish quality - tender and almost creamy, without that rubbery bite but not mushy either. Best lasagne I have ever had....anywhere. The second was a marathon session where I made TWO batches of lasagne and two of fettucini....that day I made traditional and veggie alfredo lasagne, and once again, could not have been more pleased with the results. Then I used some of the fettucini for a huge batch of cottage cheese, noodles and bacon that Ethan requested for days afterwards, and then some with bolognese sauce for him one night we were eating something highly objectionable to him (he's not really picky, just 10) to a very happy outcome. I also shared some of the dried fettucini with a friend, and she said it was really good...I choose to believe her.

Today everyone was watching the Maltese Falcon, and I was bored because it was in BLACK & WHITE....sheesh, we used to have to watch that in the middle ages (1960's), and they didn't even bother to colorize it. I love that they were SO un-PC back then, and we got some pretty good guffaws out of some of their mannerisms and choices of vocab, but it wasn't enough to keep me entertained so I grabbed an apron and noodled up. I rolled the sheets a bit thicker, then cut them by hand into strips about as wide and long as my thumb....then I made chicken veggie soup and threw those delicious eggy strips of heaven into the pot. Not very many people make noodles by hand, mostly cause it's a giant pain in the arse - that is unless you have magical machines to do the hard part, but either way...BEST. CHICKEN. SOUP. ON. THE. PLANET. I should build a shrine to Kitchenaid, but that would be false idolatry so I won't, but man-oh-man you should try it sometime.....it takes a bit of elbow grease to roll out pasta dough, but this soup is SO very worth it!

Chicken NOODLE Soup

So if you want to use homemade, the recipe will follow for the pasta, otherwise I highly suggest you buy fresh or the frozen egg noodles....the kind in the bag are never as good. Or you can make the soup with no noodles and avoid the carbs - sometimes I add butternut squash I've roasted and that's good too. But I have suspected for years that the Manna the Israelites found every morning in the desert for 40 years while they wandered lost because Moses didn't have GPS was actually noodles....they just changed the name later.

1 T. olive oil

3 large raw chicken breasts, cut into 1/4" dice

1.5 C. celery, cut in 1/4" slices

1.5 C. onion, diced

1.5 C. carrots, cut in half and 1/4" thick

2 C. frozen or fresh corn

1.5 C. crookneck squash, 1/2" dice (they will break down a little)

1/2 LARGE cabbage, coarsely chopped

16 C. Hot water OR chicken broth

5 T. chicken soup base (the paste type is the best) if using water

1/2 tsp. turmeric (yellow curry)

Salt and FRESH GROUND black pepper to taste

1 lb. fresh pasta

Heat olive oil in large stock pot until smoking, add chicken, celery, onion, carrot, corn and saute for a couple minutes. Add squash and cabbage and cook a couple more minutes until it all kind of wilts, then put in water, soup base (or broth), and seasonings. Bring to a boil and cook for about 8 minutes, then add pasta and stir, continuing to cook at a low boil about 5 minutes or until pasta is at least al dente. It will continue to cook from the heat in the pot, but you can serve immediately or let it sit a while....the flavor will actually improve if you can believe that.

If you want to make the pasta, I will give you the recipe I use for the Kitchenaid, but you may have to actually mix it with your hands if you don't have a fancy mixer...OR you can use a food processor, just not a hand mixer unless you want a new one when it burns up from attempting to mix concrete.

Egg Noodles

3.5 C. sifted AP flour

1/2 tsp. table salt (kosher grains are too big)

1 T. water

4 whole eggs

Put all ingredients in mixer and use the flat beater, beat on 2 for 1-2 minutes until flour is incorporated, then switch to dough hook and knead on 2 for 2 minutes. Remove dough from hook/bowl and knead for another 1-2 minutes or until smooth. Let rest covered with a towel for 20 minutes or it will just laugh at you if you try to roll it out. This is where I run it through the rollers on 1, folding it every time and repeating 4 or 5 times, then roll it once at 2, once at 3 and once at 4 to make thick ones (I think it goes up to 7). If you are doing it manually, you just cut the dough in 4 pieces, and start rolling with a rolling pin.....they should be about as thin as...well....a noodle. Then cut into smaller squares, then in whatever size noodle you want.

I used them fresh, just cook in whatever for 4-5 minutes for the thick ones, but you can dry them on a towel for later, just make sure they are separated and don't stack...they will stick together and you will say very bad words and cook the whole deformed mess, then cry bitter tears of disappointment while you eat your noodles with a steak knife and fork, raking them through a puddle of melted butter and they will STILL be delicious. And THAT, my friends, is a gift from MY heart.

"I'm older and have more insurance."

Ah...a classic, that one. Fried Green Tomatoes was SUCH a good movie, full of girl power and irony...kind of like me after working all summer cutting down trees, splitting firewood, and in general acting like I had a pair and knew what to do with em only to have to schedule visits with the chiropractor and physical therapist until the end of time. Haha, not really....just until I've had enough back-crackery and decide that I just have to stop acting like some musclebound freak just kicked sand in my face and start acting more like a girl. But not entirely...no one should ever make the mistake assuming I am a helpless female lest I snap them in half to more neatly shove the two pieces into their own...never mind, you get the gist. But I appreciate you opening doors for me, and will turn your spine ice cold with such a look if you don't - didn't your momma teach you any manners?

My daughter has lived "down south" for the last 11 years, and is finally coming home to Oregon in less than 2 weeks. I am wildly excited, and have been keeping it low key because I was afraid I would jinx it and she might move instead to some other back-water state too far away. (And before you make some huffy comment about Georgia being where you were born and raised and how DARE I call it back water, I live in a town where there is a mannequin and a washing machine with mangle on the "cupola"(translation: roof) of the local tavern) But the moving van is on the way, she will be shortly after turning her keys over the a realtor, and now we just have to wait for her to drive from Georgia to Oregon via North Carolina and Chicago where she'll stop to visit friends....it hardly seems real. We are working on some changes to our home so they can nest when they get here - I might actually get bathroom #2 (LOL....get it??) because of this! What WILL I DO with myself??

My little girl left home for the Army the January after she graduated from high school, and has been away ever since save for a few visits back....there were big milestones like marriage, child-bearing, and home ownership in that span of time, not to mention the last 9+ years of direct grandmothering I've missed out on. If I didn't see them now and then, I think my grandson would probably think that Gramma was the mailman, and Gramps was the UPS guy....a LOT of stuff has traveled North to South in the last 10 years. So if you see UPS stock take a dive, or see a sudden rate hike at USPS in mid-September, it's probably their fault. Do I care?? NOPE....I am just tickled that ALL my kids will be home again...WHEEE!

Living in the South introduced her to all kinds of southern delicacies, like Popeye's chicken, Waffle Houses, and Domino's pizza...yeah, pretty much the same crap we have here. Sure there are actual local spots, and a few joints that we don't have here in the Northwest, but if you have decided to go semi-vegan the South is generally not the place to explore those kind of food choices. The south is cooking with lard, bacon, back fat, butter, and enough peanut oil to deep fry a pterodactyl for the Annual Confederacy Pride Picnic - I think the wedge salads down there are battered, fried and served with a side of cornbread to wipe the grease off your face with. During one visit I went to Sconyer's BBQ joint off the Bobby Jones Highway, and ordered up a vat of local specialties to bring back to my daughter's for dinner. At times like those, I wish I wasn't such a good cook...or that maybe I need to open my own drive-thru if they can force people to wait in line for 30 minutes for that crap.

On our last visit, the one where we went to Savannah and I had to confess that I had wrongly judged Paula Deen after visiting her sons restaurant there, a few bright spots shone through the nasty cornbread, watery pulled pork, and horrible biscuits and gravy I've been subjected to in Southern restaurants over time. One was the fried green tomatoes with vidalia onion relish we ordered on a whim at The Lady & Sons that bakin' hot day in Savannah. I'm not eating fried foods anymore, so until yesterday I had not tried to duplicate it at home, but after a trip to my sister-in-law's produce stand and a chance sighting of some lovely green 'maters, I decided to make them as a Labor Day treat for the kids that were here this weekend. You can get the recipe off the internet too, but it doesn't come with a neat story or family dirt and cusses like mine do....but to each his own. These were so startlingly delicious that I had to put them on my cheeseburger, onion relish and all, and I blacked out while I was eating it due to extreme deliciousness....it will be the first special on my flagship restaurant's grand opening menu....I shall call it the Iggy Burger. My lands.....

Fried Green Tomatoes

4 large green or even slightly orangey tomatoes
Salt
2 C. buttermilk
2 C. self-rising flour*
Fresh ground black pepper
Vegetable oil

Slice tomatoes 1/4" thick and salt on both sides; put in colander and let drain for 30 minutes. Heat oil in pan at least 1" deep to medium high...you want it to almost be smoking, and keep it hot. Using a fork, put drained tomatoes in the buttermilk, then into flour and coat well; carefully lay them into the hot oil, grind some pepper over them and fry until browned on the first side. Gently turn so as not to dislodge the coating and brown on the other side. Remove to a paper towel lined platter, then to a cooling rack so the coating doesn't sweat off, or directly onto your serving dish and eat immediately with heaps of vidalia onion relish. Or on a cheeseburger if you got the guts.

*if your self-rising flour has a grey layer in the container that you suspect is the waste of some kind of bug infestation, you can make your own with untainted all purpose flour by adding 1-1/2 tsp. baking powder and 1/2 tsp of salt per cup of flour and stirring it in.

Vidalia Onion Relish

2 Vidalia or sweet onions, peeled and diced
1/2 C. mayonnaise, plus another 1/4 C. later
1/2 C. seasoned rice vinegar
2 T. brown sugar
2 T. chives, chopped (I didn't have any, put in some parsley)

Mix all ingredients and let marinate in the fridge for at least 30 minutes. The vinegar and onion juice make this rather watery, so after it marinated, I dumped it in a strainer, removed most of the liquid, the re-introduced an additional 1/4 C. mayo into it with a dash of salt...voila!! Perfect creamy consistency, and I figured no added fat because I drained a lot of the original mayo out....and this sh** was so good I was eating it with a spoon....Handsome Stranger was horrified, but to me it tasted like candy. I also heaped a big spoonful on the one bite of a hot dog I could get down - I can think of nothing this would not be delicious on. A fudge brownie with peanut butter icing included. So yeah, anyway....serve in large spoonfuls on top of fried green tomatoes, and tell your pants they're lucky that green tomatoes are not available year round. Y'all come back now, y'hear??

"Ch ch ch chANGEs"....

Life changes come in many forms. Like when you go to the ER because you have some crazy-ass bout of food poisoning that has lasted for a week, and they tell you that is NOT something you ate, but something that will eventually eat YOU out of house and home, and that saltines and 7-up are the only things you will consume for the next 4 months. Another wake-up call is when your children all finally exceed the legal age of 18, and the day is finally here when you no longer have to worry about them....then your stomach turns into lead the first time one of them does something stupid/scary/BIG and it dawns on you that THAT DAY NEVER COMES. Those drug company commercials where old people are laughing and lying around naked in bathtubs on the beach are a LIE....we're too busy losing sleep over the mistakes our kids are making to frolic with pharmaceuticals in the sand - those people are obviously childless.

My daughter and her family are making a life change at this very moment - I think the steady harassment of family for them to move back to Oregon was not quite enough until the big hairy toe of homesickness stepped on and tipped the scales. SIL is probably heading back overseas for another year-long contract, and because I think this last year is the longest he's been home all at once for quite a while, the thought of being alone again was too much for her. Which is fine by me - if family gets overwhelming, they can get their own place and pretend they're not home when we come knocking, and leave the phone off the hook....I will just be supremely happy that they're closer than a 6+ hour flight to an airport where you fly over what smells like the biggest crap farm in the universe. How can you smell that on a PLANE way up in the air anyway??

This, in turn, will be a big change for us - we have Son #2 at home, but he is pretty self-contained, and only rarely grunts a need for something, like say a tow from the California border (haha, that was SO funny!). Depending on when a job comes through for SIL, we will quite possibly double the size of our household, and STILL we have one bathroom. There is a disturbance in the force, and Darth Stranger is starting to draw up plans for said commode #2 (haha, yes I said it) - even a half bath is better than none, so I am ready to give up part of my luxuriously sized laundry room so I can shower without the fear that someone at any given point will desperately need to come in and make me have to shower all over again.

Please understand, this is not a complaint - I am unbelieveably excited, but keeping it low key in case it somehow doesn't happen...that would be very bad - but just an observation that things are about to change big time for our family as a whole. My kids are all awesome, as are the people they attach themselves to, but are also very independent (see "stubborn", they get that from their father) souls, so we (see me) are all going to need to be flexible. Which means that if someone puts the steak knives in the cheese knife slot, or leaves the cereal bag open so it gets all stale and chewy, I'm going to have to swing with it. Altho eating the last graham cracker and not immediately getting in the car and going to the nearest open store for more could be punishable by death (I don't ask for much, but my GC's are WW crack). And the benefits will FAR outweigh any inconvenience....I have only dreamed of the day when my grandson would be instantly accessible for teasing and rubbing grammy's feet (gross...I am totally kidding), and my daughter back so the balance shifts back to girl power - along with my someday DIL, we are going to RULE!

Change is mostly good, it shakes up our complacency, makes our lives more interesting, and can help you to see what you're really made of. Which brings me to this: a recipe for change. I am working really hard at making things that are good for you but still edible, and when I tweak a terrible (see delicious and full of fat) recipe and actually make it better for you and STILL good-tasting, I feel like I just invented chocolate. OK, maybe not chocolate....but maybe graham crackers. So give this a try and tell me what you think....it got rave reviews here, but our taste buds could have been the first thing to disappear when we started losing weight!

Not-So-Fatty Patty's Killer Noodle Salad

I think the original had more noodles, less veggies, used regular peanut butter and more oil, but this version is far less point-plus intensive and still packs an amazing flavor punch. And load up on even more veggies if you want - you can also sprinkle chopped peanuts on top, but beware...those points add up FAST!

3 oz. fresh soba noodles (they look like fresh ramen, but are not deep fried)
1/4 C. seasoned rice vinegar
2 T. Peanutbetter (that stuff I told you about at Trader Joe's)
1 tsp. sesame oil (this is where a LOT of the flavor comes from...)
2 T. sugar
1 T. soy sauce
1 tsp. red curry paste (uh, yeah...I use maybe 1/4 tsp. so as to not set my hair on fire)
1/2 tsp. salt
2 C. shredded cabbage
1/2 red bell pepper
1 C. sugar snap peas
1 carrot, peeled or a handful of baby carrots
1 rib celery

Cook the soba as per directions - it only takes a couple minutes - drain and rinse with cold water and put in large bowl. In a small bowl, whisk vinegar, peanutbetter, oil, sugar, soy, curry paste and salt to a smooth emulsion, set aside. To prep veggies, wash and cut peppers and carrots into matchstick size pieces, then slice the sugar snap peas crosswise diagonally into 1/4" sections. Toss all veggies with noodles, pour over dressing and mix to coat. Adjust seasoning to taste, and serve cold - SO good and only 7 points plus for the WHOLE batch!

If you want to make this for more than just you, just multiply it per person for a main dish (you could add sliced cooked chicken breast for more protein - 3 oz. will add I think 2 more points), or for every two people if it's a side. You can also get fancy and add some toasted white and black sesame seeds, a tsp. is zero points, so just don't add more than that per serving and you're good to go. And if you don't care about the fat, by all means use regular peanut butter, drizzle in some olive oil and crust the top with crushed peanuts - shoot, you can eliminate the veggies altogether and stop yourself up for a month of Sundays! Just don't come to my house when it finally breaks loose....I still only have one bathroom, and I like the paint to stay on the walls, thank you very much.

"So, what does this smell like to you?"

It is unhealthy the amount of time I spend thinking about food - I can be working on something totally unrelated in my cube at work, then someone opens the door to the lunchroom (mere feet away) and an aroma will wash over me and cause my brain to stutter. Some smells are good, some not, but some will make me lose my train of thought and start a landslide of thoughts, memories and ideas that tumble, one over the other, like a river of molten milk chocolate flowing over a bed of broken walnuts and marshmallow boulders.....mmmmmmmmm. I can't think, focus, or concentrate on anything else for minutes, maybe even longer - it's really a hazard for me to work so close to where food is heated and consumed - I have a severe case of CIS (Culinary Interruptus Syndrome) and there is no cure.

One such distraction is toast. The smell of toast always makes me think of my Grampa. My dad's dad, in his older years, made and ate toast all the time - it was probably because they took away his drivers license and the only machine they let him run was the damn toaster. So whenever I visited their house, it smelled like toast. Years after Grampa passed away, we bought his house and live there now, and I have, from time to time, thought maybe he was still around now and then. I would get up in the night now and then to answer nature's call, and I'd smell toast - it always made me wonder until I found out later that the kids would sometimes get up after we went to bed and have a snack....and toast was quick and easy. But I still think of Grampa when I smell toast.

Another is burnt popcorn. That's a bad one. We were popcorn artistes growing up, and we popped it in a pan on the burner...no sissy poppers for us. Linoleum, formica and carpeting be damned - we didn't always pay attention so occasionally we would go back to the kitchen after starting a pan of oil heating to a "light show"....I was smart, but not all my siblings had the superior intellect I did, and would attempt to carry a pan sporting 3 foot flames out to the deck...luckily Mom was good at treating burns, and I don't think she minded TOO much that she had to replace the gold shag carpet and hideous linoleum squares in the kitchen. But I think there's still a burn ring on the counter...I just put the pan there for a SECOND... Handsome stranger burns his on purpose in the microwave, but just a little scorched....I told him he had to put a microwave on the deck if he wanted to truly torch it - it's a horrible smell.

What's my fave? Cookies are oh so good, a turkey roasting is heaven, but if you want to take me to your leader, put some homemade bread in the oven and I'll go there no questions asked. It's the smell of happiness to me - sure I want to slather it with butter and eat it until my belly button goes from an innie to an outie, but just the smell is a gift in itself. I don't care for Subway, but once in the store can hardly think because of the smell of that bread cooking. I can't go to Olive Garden because they don't have a conveyor belt to drop a warm delish bread stick onto my plate every 30 seconds and they get all testy if you start pounding your shoe on the table and chanting "bread STICK, bread STICK, bread STICK". It's not a mystery to me why Jesus comes to us mere mortals in the form of bread....it is also a divine creation. (note: please do not lecture me on that last seemingly sacrilegious statement, I am fully aware that a slice of warm sourdough does not have divine powers, nor do I really believe that Killer Dave's Blues Buns in any way shape or form is comparable to Christ our Lord...it was just a simile.)

Easter is almost upon us, and we will be feasting on roast turkey and ham in honor of His rising from the dead, and I decided that cheesy potatoes would be an appropriately fine side dish to pay Him laud. And because I can't stop thinking about them after having them at my great-niece Mazy's birthday BBQ last weekend. Even before I tasted them, the smell drove me mad and I wanted to bury my face in that crock pot.....I have no idea how I was able to keep my portion size to no more than 1/3 cup, but think it was the uber deliciousness of it that satisfied in limited quantities. It's very simple too, and altho I have some ideas for variations (pepper jack, little smokies, bacon, Swiss and ham...), Sunday it's gonna be straight up cheesy...I can't wait.

Jami's Cheesy Potatoes

5 lbs. frozen shredded hash browns
1 cube butter (that's a half cup), melted
1 C. chopped onion (optional, Joe doesn't like em so they didn't have any and no one cared)
1 pint (that's 2 cups) sour cream
2 C. grated cheese (I assume it was cheddar, but I think you could go wild here)
1 large can cream of mushroom soup (not the regular can, the BIG one)
Salt & Pepper

Mix everything together, throw it all in a big crock pot and cook on high about 1 hour, then turn to warm until heated through and you're ready to serve. (UPDATE: After I nearly froze my hands off trying to mix the frozen hash browns with the other ingredients, someone told me you can just pour them over the top, then stir it halfway through. DUH) You can also put it in a buttered casserole or 9x13 and bake at 350 for around 45 minutes....that will make it more brown on top.

Yup, that's it....easy peasy, and so delicious you will forget your name. I thought it would be really good to use a spoon and scoop dents out of it, the put a cracked egg in each dent and bake it until the egg was set, but Handsome Stranger looked at me like I offhandedly remarked that I should top it with crushed eggshells and coffee grounds...fine, eggs on the side. Ooooh....salsa would be good too! I guess that means it's time to make dinner....and Happy Easter, y'all!

OPEN WIDE......

I am soooooo sick. I went for like two years without getting so much as an occasional allergy attack, then decided it was time to stop my clock from getting ahead of itself and started to eat more healthy...BAM! I am on my second cold since January, or it's one really long one with an almost healthy couple of days to lull me into a false sense of wellness. It's also quite odd....head cold, but it hurts mostly below my ears, and my back teeth are hyper sensitive - what's up with THAT?? I also don't have much of an appetite since yesterday, which if you know me, means I must be REALLY sick.

I had to go to the store for reinforcements, ie, food that would make me feel better, so I decided to go to my meeting and weigh in too. Hallelujah and Saint's be praised, I dropped a load in the last two weeks, and that was all the encouragement I needed. Pecan Praline ice cream (light...I'm not crazy), some KFC chicken (once again....grilled), and a half dozen Noah's bagels (fine, I'm certifiable) and I was speeding back home to my next dose of cold meds, a full warm tummy (it's still big enough to call it a belly, but tummy makes me feel like I've progressed) and a date with Pride and Prejudice. I quickly totted up the points plus values of my little splurge, and found that I was still within my daily means...and it's really after dinner time so I feel quite good about myself right now, even if I feel like crap.

Sick food is very personal - it's what YOU like and ONLY what you like....when you feel icky, and especially when you aren't all that hungry, what you want is something to make you feel better, even if it's not the best thing for you. For me that changes...I like lots of things, so it can be the craving of the month that gets me through, or something I've seen on a commercial or that someone ate at lunch last week...quite random. And son #1 and my DIL in waiting (sorry Andrea, that's your new nickname) were rear-ended last week, and he insisted that his doctor told them the best prescription was a sweet-potato pie and some of son #2's chocolate chip cookies. I made both, and was not tempted...I ate one cookie, they gave me a bite of the pie and that was enough. I am sure I drive Handsome Stranger up the wall when I'm real sick...he has to find or make something that will make me happy, but if I don't know what it is, his chance of hitting it on the head is comparable to Hugh Hefner scoring with a woman with self-respect (or a brain...).

So what's my offering today? Hmm.......soup is too obvious, and I still have some left from Sunday's soup-o-rama. Cookies? Nah, too much work and rather points intensive. OK, how about that "Breakfast for Dinner" thing? Hmmm....OK, along with the turkey sausage links, a couple eggs over whatever-you-call-em-when-the-yolks-are-runny-but-the-whites-are-NOT, I think a few nicely browned potato latkes are in order....Oster style! One of the things we did NOT receive for a wedding gift was a blender, so we took back some of the repeat items and purchased a lovely harvest gold blender with a glass jar. Which didn't last long, but my Mom had a spare stainless one she gave us, so we were able to get by with it. For 31+ years....that sucker is a workhorse. My lovely daughter bought us a fancy schmancy Kitchenaid a few years ago, and we switched it out, but I swear that old Oster could kick it's arse, at least with margaritas. But the circle of life, yadda-yadda-yadda, and it moved on with Son #1, then came back when he got a girlfriend and a better lookin' blender and now it's back - we have smoothies almost every day for breakfast, so it's nice to have 2 in case the parts are still in the dishwasher. And this recipe came from the Oster cookbook that came in the box 31+ years ago...that makes it a keeper!

Potato Pancakes

I don't think you can call them "latkes" because they aren't shredded - but they have the same ingredients, it's just not the same texture. And I always thought of latkes as just hash browns...these are quite different!

2 eggs
1 small onion
1 tsp. salt
2 T. flour
1/4 tsp. baking powder
3 cups raw cubed potatoes, skin on

Put eggs, onion, salt, flour and baking powder and half the potato cubes in blender and process on LIQUEFY until smooth. Add remaining potatoes and process a couple cycles on GRIND, or until there are no more BIG chunks. Pour onto a hot, well greased griddle and fry until nicely browned, flip and press gently to flatten out and cook until golden brown on side 2. Drain on paper towels, keep warm in oven. Makes 12 pancakes.

That's it - super easy, no peeling (unless you want to be all pale and sickly), and minimal cooking skilz required....they have a nice oniony flavor, quite a different texture, and will make you feel all warm and comfy inside. And if you're sick and can get someone else to make them for you, all the better....that is my evil plan for dinner tonight, "koff, koff". Have it with a side of applesauce...because you know what they say about apples!

Mmmmmmm....Chocolate-Covered Zucchini!

Today at a meeting my boss made us introduce ourselves by giving our name, job, high school graduated from, the mascot of said school, and our favorite candy bar growing up. It made the intros less painful and I learned stuff about people I work with I did not know....and that I'm not the only weirdo when it comes to candy bars.

I think most kids love candy, and will stoop to even mints, ribbon candy, and those white and pink hard lozenge thingies that are made out of the same stuff conversation hearts are, strictly due to the fact that they are made of sugar. I loved Necco Wafers...I have since broken up with them because after becoming an adult and gaining a more discriminating palette, I determined that I was hooked on the cane monster and would eat something that I now realize tasted like what a poker chip covered with toothpaste would. Especially the "chocolate" ones...why, as a kid, would you eat pretty much anything that was brown thinking it would taste like chocolate? Blech.

Once again, I suspect my parents used weird candies as a kind of evil torture they could snicker about when they were locked in their room...what ELSE would they be doing in there for heaven's sake? I remember my dad sharing pieces of Callard & Bowser candies with me - stuff like horehound, black licorice and something that looked like amber or that soap you used for zits...but they came in a cool box that looked just like a cigarette hard pack, and was a solid brick you had to break pieces off of. I can recall a little muslin bag that hung from a yellow drawstring that swung from one of the myriad of knobs on the green station wagon with fins on the back fenders that I was SURE was full of delicious multi-colored candy until the day I snuck in and tried it. I then determined that if that WAS candy (it was actually tobacco they used in the olden days for air freshener), I was ready to quit cold turkey. Do you KNOW how many days little pieces of tobacco will surface in your mouth after just a little pinch? I do...

My favorite was not an easy pick - I loved Rocky Road, filled with marshmallow, a few nuts and chocolate that more resembled brown wax, Payday because it was like eating chips AND candy at the same time, and the 7-Up bar that had 7 sections, each with a different flavor filling. Once a friend and I devised a plan to get even with my little brother who would sneak into my room and eat my stash when I wasn't around, and we carefully cut the bottom out of one of the sections, removed the filling, then packed it with black pepper and sealed the bottom back on. Brilliant, but of course he never took the bait, and eventually I re-opened it to find a fine mist of mold over the entire candy bar EXCEPT the pepper section. Go figure.

So, the answer you ask? It was the cherry Mountain Bar. As I explained to those who were under 40, a Mountain bar was about yay big (approx. the size of a goose egg...a Leggs egg...shit, it was about the size of a computer mouse) and looked a lot like a big turd but with pink filling. It had a nougaty, cherry flavored filling, and was coated with chocolate mixed with chopped nuts. They also had vanilla and peanut butter, but it was all about the cherry for me. It's still a fave flavor...nothing like red fake cherry taste to make you enjoy koolaid, popsicles, nyquil and ludens cough drops. I had one a few years ago and came to the conclusion that those stories we heard about rat hairs in 'em would have been a plus...how did we ever make it through childhood?

So this has absolutely nothing to do with the recipe I am about to post - the only connection I can think of is that there is cocoa in this, a dab of sugar and the sweetness of butternut squash. Back then if I had two pieces of candy and one fell on dog poop and the other on squash, I would probably have only picked one up and eaten it, and it wouldn't have been the one on the squash....but I have become decrepit and my tastes have changed. Now that I am eating healthier, I am striving to find and try recipes I would never have dreamed of giving a shot before, and have found some real winners - this is one! And I LOVE mole' - the spiciness and subtle chocolate flavors are so warm and appealing to me, and squash carmelized in the oven where the natural sugars are given a platform to really shine TRULY blows my dress up. Simple but delightful, and surprisingly complex in flavor, it also comes in at 3 Weight Watchers Plus Points for an entire 3# squash....and SO filling! O freakin LE!

Butternut Squash Mole

1 butternut squash, approx. 3#
1/8 tsp. cayenne pepper (you know I'm a wimp and just sprinkled a tiny bit on...and it was HOT)
1/4 tsp. cinnamon - use the mexican kind if you have it
1 T. sugar
1/4 C. cocoa powder (I use a wickedly extra-dark kind I find on a website...see below)
Olive oil spray or mist

Heat oven to 375. Generously spray a cookie sheet with olive oil spray. Peel entire squash, and it's a pain in the arse - squash is really hard. Cut off ends, quarter and scoop out guts/seeds with metal spoon, then cut in 1" chunks. Or you can go to Costco and buy a tub of it already cubed up if you have nothing better to spend 7 bucks on. Put in large bowl, spray liberally with olive oil spray, toss and spray again, then add pepper, cinnamon, sugar and cocoa powder and stir or toss until evenly coated. Spread coated cubes over the oiled cookie sheet, making sure you scrape every bit of cocoa-ey goodness out of the bowl, and pop in the oven and roast for 45-60 minutes, or until fork tender. I have fantasized a bit about getting my hands on some roasted salted pepitas (shelled pumpkin seeds) to chop a bit and sprinkle over the top, but it's more points, I don't need it, and I don't know if I can still get those at Winco. But since pumpkin seed are normally ground up and put in a traditional mole sauce, it makes sense, si?

Let me know what you think - now I'm getting an urge to make a chicken mole soup...it's freakin' cold today and anything turned into soup sounds like the next greatest thing to me. With the exception of Cherry Mountain Bars and Necco Wafers. GROSS. Don't live to eat, eat to live....but have a candy bar once in a while!

*I get my extra dark Ramstadt-Breda Rich Dark Cocoa from www.preparedpantry.com - they are in Idaho, and have TONS of amazing stuff!

"Bless us oh Lord, for thunder thighs..."

Thanksgiving. Yes, I said it. The day where caution doesn't just get thrown out the window, but tossed off the Empire State Building in flames to land on the street below and get run over by an armored truck, a yellow taxi, and a garbage truck on it's way to a scow on the river where it will dump almost as much as you'll probably eat that day. How celebrating a historic meal of thanks turned into a gluttonous feeding frenzy that will make many dig through their closets the next day to find pants that don't leave a red dent around their waist and a perfect impression of the zipper down their happy trail I will never know. But, who am I to question? I say let's get ON with it already!

I've been thinking about the day, and how it will fit in with my new and deliciousness-prohibitive eating habits, and am struggling with whether I try to make tradition fit into the pitifully small and mostly butter-free box I think I should put it in, or if it would really be so bad to just let loose and take the day as it comes? Would it kick start my dormant butter monster? Open the door to the evil cheese demon? Maybe bring to life the hideous but delicious sugar zombie that lies in wait for a weak moment? All good questions, and I may not know the answer until "T-Day", but that should not keep me from sharing the hideously delightful truth of what Thanksgiving has meant to me in the past, right? Drool bibs at the ready??

Here is a taste of Thanksgiving at our "little" family compound every year (trust me, ain't NOTHIN' little about it) - there are satellite dishes that come and go like the company that joins us, but the skeleton of the meal is always the same......we are creatures of habit, which would be a great outfit to wear when you're done stuffing your face - black is soooooo slimming.. Just don't get gravy on your wimple....

Moose Family Thanksgiving Feast

Roast turkey
Sometimes we roast it upside down so all the evil drippings from the dark meat go through the breast, rendering it juicy/flavorful, but you have to forgo stuffing so it rarely happens because...
Stuffing
Some call it dressing, others use cornbread, or that crappy bread-crumby stuff that is just wrong - in my book it has to be Franz stuffing mix WITH the seasoning packet, with a very lot of butter sauteed onions and celery, and a couple eggs to help bind it so it's perfectly moist and lumpy. And you MUST cook it in the bird, and mix that with the stuff that's leftover so it's not sad.
Mashed potatoes
Sure you can use dry ones out of a box, but be thankful you can get away with that crap the rest of the year and use Idaho BROWN potatoes. That along with another butt-load of butter, salt, pepper and some cream or half and half, some milk, and if you want, sour cream and/or cream cheese and did I say salt? Don't under salt it, fights will break out over who gets to lick the potato beaters if you do it correctly.
Poppa Moose's Turkey Gravy
The man knows his way around a whisk, and leaves no pan unscraped of every last bit of flavor stuck to the roaster pan....amazing that nothing but that and some flour, water and salt and pepper can produce something you want to bathe in and would still gladly eat afterwards.
Deb's No-Knead Rolls
SIL gave me this one, and it is always requested at home and when we go elsewhere - they are soft and yeasty and eggy and if I was only allowed to choose 4 things to eat that Thursday, it would be rolls, turkey, Best Foods mayonnaise and salt. Period.
Brussel Sprouts
Cannot be omitted, under penalty of eating crappy green bean casserole with mushroom soup and icky fried onions from a can. You must carefully trim them, cut large ones in half, put all on a cookie sheet and drizzle w/olive oil, kosher salt and roast for 25-35 mins until tender...mmmm.
Cranberry Jello Mold
It's what it's called, my mother-in-law shared her recipe, and we never, EVER go without it...it's like cranberries on crack, and is filled with sour cream so it helps in smooth processing of all the rest of the stuff you're going to eat that day.
Pie
Of COURSE there's pie....pie is the REAL reason for the season, isn't it? I've made pumpkin, pumpkin praline, sweet potato, blackberry, blueberry, apple, apple-cranberry, apple-blueberry, lemon meringue, shoo fly, peanut butter streusal, key lime, pecan, strawberry-rhubarb, lemon cream, banana cream, blueberry sour cream, cherry, and even a couple gooseberry that did not set up and turned into gooseberry soup in a pie crust. Which was highly unfortunate considering I made them for the church bazaar...oops. Vanilla ice cream, real whipped cream and even Cool Whip on hand to choose your weapon of expansion....not that you need it at this point.

OK, I know I gave you the recipe for sweet potato casserole a couple posts ago, but I have to admit that I am the only one of the Moose's that would miss it if it went AWOL. Bunch of babies don't know what's good for them, and that there is no better contrast (except roll/turkey/mayo) than the delightful crunchy/sweetness of that dish COVERED with the savory hot brown of Poppa Moose's gravy...mush, smush, Poopy girl. But that's why it's not on the staples list...whiners. Same goes for the cauliflower - I can only put things on the list if everyone eats some, and Poppa will do his best to avoid it when there are so many other options...but if I catch him I make him eat one "brain" before he gets pie.

So there you go, this is what is ALWAYS on the menu on that third Thursday of November, unless we go somewhere where they won't allow me to dictate the menu, disregarding the 30+ years of experience and knowledge of how much butter you can use if you really commit to it. If that does happen, I just make my own on Friday at home, and don't share leftovers with ANYONE...they can poke listlessly at their crappy Pepperidge Farms crumby "dressing", the can shaped cranberry jelly, the gross-bean casserole, and a sea of canned yams covered with a huge waste of toasted marshmallows while we dine on turkey and homemade roll sammiches, dipping them merrily in gravy and following up with a piece of pumpkin pie plopped neatly into a tub of Cool Whip. Jealous?

Cranberry Jello Mold

I personally love the flavor of cranberry jelly, especially with turkey, but this combines it with two other favorites I cannot say no to - cherry jello and sour cream. SO simple to make, even tho I almost always forget and it gets too hard and then it is never quite the same...set the timer, wouldja?

1 large box cherry Jello
2 C. boiling water
1 Can cranberry sauce, WHOLE BERRY. Otherwise it's just jello.
2 C. sour cream...yes, an ENTIRE pint!

Mix jello and boiling water, stir until dissolved completely (I like to use a whisk, but don't beat it, just stir or it will get all foamy), put in fridge and cool until slightly jelled. That means quite jiggly in the center, like it will fall out if you turn the bowl upside down. I would set the timer for 30 minutes, then check every 10 or so....it'll still work if it gets hard, but won't mold up as nice and is not as cohesive and creamy as it should be.

Add cranberry sauce and sour cream, stir until well blended and smooth. You might want to mash up the sauce before putting it in....it tends to be a bit lumpy. Pour into a mold or serving dish and refrigerate covered until firm. I used to use my green Tupperware jello mold with the hole in the middle, then when I unmolded it I'd fill the center with Cool Whip...classy, eh? Then my green mold disappeared...I suspect someone let it touch the dishwasher element, maybe left it on the stove and turned on a burner, or tried to use it to melt lead and make a wheel they could put a stick through and try to ride it like on the old B.C. comics....all evidence was erased, and no one ever copped to it so I use my imagination. But I found a white/blue speckled one second-hand somewhere, so the world is right again...jello mold ho!

Enjoy the holiday with your family, friends and/or people you are willing to hang with to get a free meal that will make you re-consider the sweat-pants look...I still don't know what I'm going to do, but am pretty sure you will hear about it later...Happy almost Thanksgiving!