Now that Thanksgiving is over and Christmas is nearly upon us, my motivation to write blogs has all but flown out the window, got caught in the power lines, and been fricasseed into a smoking, steaming and unrecognizable lump of imagination that was. I have SO much to do this time of year, which really starts 2 weeks prior to Halloween and my grandson-who-lives-far-away's birthday, and will not end until after Mass on January 1st. Work is horrific the first half of December, but I still have to do my shopping for the Georgia branch so it can be shipped in time so E still knows we love him, and I am quite peeved at my employers for no longer giving us the minimal perk of letting us ship UPS through them. USPS apparently straps their packages in the roomy seats of business class, either that or they're having lavish parties and romps to tropical places for their employees from charging me as much as my fancy car payment to ship a cardboard box filled with stuff that costs less than the postage will.
I need to figure out what we're going to have for Christmas dinner, and see if my family will even be here for it. Son #1 has a GF who is sweet as pie, but her family likes her too, so I have to share him now. Son #2 will probably be here, but he tends to flit off at the drop of a hat to one of his friends, or friend's family that wants to adopt him (NO, he is still OURS...get your OWN Kenny...) - if I cook something good tho, he will be here at least for dinner. And my baby girl? I think someday she will miss us bad enough to move back to a non-brown state, but is taking her sweet time. I've only seen my SIL a couple times EVER...geez, you'd think he spends all his time overseas....wait....
So I thought I had been making it clear that I wanted to have a German Feast for this important occasion, and make all my favorites - Sauerbraten with gingersnap gravy, potato latkes, Rheinlander Fondue with that delicious dark rye and sourdough cut in big chunks and toasted ever so slightly in the oven, and of course the most delicious lentil soup EVER. Now I'm getting dissension in the ranks....someone in my house mentioned doing "Ham and mashed potatoes with peas" for dinner...really? Just because you get a free ham from work, and you could eat your body weight in peas and mashed potatoes every single day for the rest of your life?? That sounds SOOOOO boring to me! So now I have to make a decision; make what I want, make what HE wants, or see what everyone else wants and play eenie, meenie, miney, mo. DAMMIT don't you people KNOW that I know what's good for you??? But a people pleaser I am....you just have to put up with my shenanigans to get what you really want.
Now for some serious silliness....I am now following a program to make myself even finer than I already am, and to prolong my life beyond the 47 years that those crazy life calculators are always malfunctioning tell me I won't last beyond....HA, I'm already 50, so take THAT, you cheap dime-store hood. Anyway, butter and mayo and cheese, oh my....all things I have put at arms length, and we're talking arms of that giant mutant Asian dude who plays basketball - I"m scrappy and even chubby white girls can jump if you put chocolate too near them. So finding acceptable treats to reward myself for not eating the things I truly love but that were slowly killing me was quite a daunting task. But here is one...and you may scoff, but to me it's like a cannoli stuffed with whipped cream and drizzled with chocolate, or a giant wedge of mile high mud pie...um, no it isn't. But it's good, and I highly recommend it....and you know I like good stuff!
Hunka Hunka
1/2 multi grain sandwich thin (OK, they look like a wheat hamburger bun that an elephant sat on....no, they are NOT corn pads for NBA players)
1 T. peanut butter, SMOOTH (chunky will not spread far enough...get over it)
2 T. marshmallow creme (FAT FREAKIN FREE!)
Spread peanut butter on your piece of bread. Put marshmallow creme on top and spread to edges. Eat around the edges until you have a circle about the size of a silver dollar (alright, you whippersnappers that have never seen a silver dollar, about the diameter of a shot glass...and I KNOW you've seen a LOT of those), then say to anyone around "look what I got!" and pop it in your mouth, chewing audibly and making yummy noises. 4 points, and if you use almond butter it tastes like divinity with nuts....oh crap I want some divinity with nuts. Be back in a bit, after I'm done with reporting, shopping for Georgia, shipping said booty, and figuring out what the heck I'm gonna wear to my nieces wedding on New Years Eve...hopefully it will be a size smaller!
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