Sunday, June 13, 2010

Funky Food

How do you start a blog? Dive in to the moment, and at this moment I am thinking about Funky Foods - y'know, those little secrets that everyone has, stuff your Dad told you that he and your Uncle Steve used to eat, or possibly odd creations that somehow stuck when you were ingredient-challenged and just plain hungry. For example:
  • Cheerio Sandwich - When my dad was a kid, his favorite sandwich was white bread spread with butter, then covered with a handful of Cheerios smashed down into the bread and sprinkled liberally with sugar
  • Peanut Butter & Mustard - Just like it says, on white bread, courtesy of Uncle Steve
  • The Boss Lady - I won't say which one, but her fave is a slice of bologna wrapped around a cinnamon roll (REALLY?)
  • Idaho Humpty - Two eggs, over easy and smashed up with a fork mixed with a small baggie of crushed regular potato chips, thank you sister Susie
Regardless of where they come from or whether they even survive a generation, Funky Food is a source of comfort, and usually carries good memories with it, because why would you eat something that reminds you of bad times?

Here's a recipe for a Funky Food that was actually an old family recipe of a former friend of mine - I forget its German name, but the American translation spells it out a bit better.

Cottage Cheese, Noodles and Bacon

  • 1 batch homemade egg noodles or a package of frozen ones
  • 1 lb. bacon, cut in 1/4" slices
  • 1 to 2 cartons of cottage cheese (Knudsen's in the yellow carton is the best if you can find it)
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  1. Cook the noodles in a big pot according to directions - al dente or "to the bite", which means don't cook the crap out of them. Use a LOT of water. It helps to disperse the starch and keep them from sticking. Don't put oil in it either, the sauce permeates the pasta better if you don't.
  2. While pasta is cooking, put all that bacon in a big skillet and start frying it, breaking it apart with a bamboo paddle unless you don't have one, in which case just use some other lame utensil. You want to stir it now and then over medium high heat - don't let it get really crispy, it should be soft-cooked with a few crispy edges. Remove bacon from pan when done to stop cooking, reserve bacon fat (yes, you're going to need it....bwwwaaahhaahhaa).
  3. When pasta is ready, drain and dump back into large pot, then dump in bacon, one carton of cottage cheese and toss in a couple pinches of kosher salt and a few healthy grinds of black pepper. If you're still using the pre-ground stuff, go to ANY grocery store and buy a cheapy spice jar with a plastic grinding top on it - everyone knows that pepper is best freshly ground and you have to use a TON of the other junk to get any flavor/heat at all. But I digress. Stir this all up and take a taste - it's good, but missing something, eh?
  4. Yup, you guessed it - start dumping in the hot bacon drippings (if you say it that way it doesn't sound so bad). You can add as little or as much as you want, same goes for cottage's up to you. Adjust the salt/pepper as desired as well, then dish it up and Guten appetit!
Momma Moose

PS - did I mention that this is NOT a politically correct food blog? I do not subscribe to organic, free-range, healthy, vegetarian, vegan, low fat, gourmet, kosher or flexitarian methods, but if one happens to fall into one of those categories so be it.


  1. I wanna make this for my restaurant!

  2. You know, I tried the PB & mustard once when I was a kid, and it wasn't bad, but I have never been compelled to try it since.

    Also, this has way too much bacon in it, which probably means it's just the right amount of bacon.

    PS. You still owe me a hot & sour soup recipe.

  3. Ohmygod, I've got the hugest hangover ever and I'm going to make this NOW! Thank you!